the dull yellow eye

Meandering.

2011-08-08T00:58:00.000-07:00

Triumphant comeback notwithstanding, my writing output's been herky-jerky, a paragraph here, 1000 words there. Days in between. I've heard people suggest giving myself a deadline, but then I'd just feel guilty about breaking an arbitrary goal I'd set for myself. I don't need more practice with that, to be honest.

I thought I'd try immersion, a couple of weeks ago. I discovered Camp Nanowrimo (www.Campnanowrimo.org), a new 50k-in-one-month project brought to the world in August. I cranked out 1700 words the first day and then let life distract me. Vet appointments, changes at work, dates with the hubby, lollygagging. Today's the 8th? Yeah. But, hey. 1700 (Ok, about 2000--I've added a few bits here & there since the 1st) words more than what I had on July 31st, and a new idea for a longer story out of it, as well. So, I'm ahead, relatively speaking.

I have my shiny new replacement computer provided by the nice NVidia folks, and I still get a wee thrill when I sit down in front of it. My office is cozy, environmentally encouraging for free thinking and navel gazing. I have pistachios. All systems go.

(crickets chirping)

I think part of the problem (beyond the nameless terror preventing me from making an honest effort) is my tendency to dwell on how little time I have in blocks. Not that I don't really have enough time, because I do. But I take a long time to settle in, arrange the above-mentioned bowl of pistachios (and the empty bowl for the shells) and a glass of iced tea into a configuration within reach but not in the way, find a place in the story to start, choose the appropriate music for the mood I'm in/trying to evoke, narrow down the font I want for the day and get into a state of proper concentration. There's serious preparation going on, here. By the time all that's done, it's time for whatever outside obligation I have for the day. And with the interruptions (potty breaks for me and the dogs, refills on the tea, checking the mail, generalized scratching,) I often get nowhere even with the best intention.

I know this is a common problem. I think it's called procrastination. I remember hearing somewhere that people aren't lazy. They're either sick or tired. That helps us feel a little better about ourselves, maybe, but the problem's still there.

But hey, I'm writing a little something every day, if only a meandering blog post or a grocery list. I use a pen to mark off the day on the calendar. Things are looking up. I'm rusty, sure. But not rusted shut.

I just had a brilliant idea. I could maintain the longest-running blog for an aspiring writer who can't ever quite get to the writing. Each week a new hope, dashed by ennui, anxiety and/or prime-time television. Tonight was "True Blood." You don't expect me to miss that, do you? It's literary and everything. I'm studying story structure over a larger arc.

I'm 43. I'm a patient woman. The question is, how much time do I really have, and do I really want to be writing horror stories when I'm 82? Ok, that's not the question, because the answer is yeah, I really do want that. The question is, when will I hit bottom and start to crawl back up, so i can be writing stories when I'm 82? See? Plenty of time.

Wow. That was dark.

2011-07-18T01:16:00.001-07:00

So, after I dug myself out of the yard and hosed off, I started reading a collection of Eudora Welty stories I'd gotten months ago.

(I'm also reading an early collection of Kelly Link's, "Stranger Things Happen." I've been having very genteel, very disturbed dreams lately. I'll drone on about Ms. Link, one of my literary heroes, another time. But real quick: go to the Small Beer Press site (http://smallbeerpress.com/books/2001/07/01/stranger-things-happen/), download the collection for free (!) and read "Water Off a Black Dog's Back" first. I get thrills just thinking about it.)

The first Eudora Welty story I read was a few years ago, "A Worn Path." Old Phoenix Jackson trudges along a worn path from country into town on an errand. She encounters obstacles and annoyances and borderline unpleasantness on the way, but taking the journey with her lets us spend a little time getting to know this woman, both from her thoughts and reactions, and from her expectations of others. That kind of steadfast strength and devotion is inspiring, especially considering the effort it takes her. And she never wavers, even when her frailty would make someone less set on the path question her purpose, and even when we wonder toward the end if the purpose for her journey even exists anymore, in a practical sense.

I think a lot of people read the story in school, but I'd never come across it. I'd love to include a link to a video of an interview with Ms. Welty in 1994 about this story--she sounds just like I'd imagined she would--but this site won't display the links I've attached. Harrumph. Here's the address: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2fh37fzsOg.

I just read another of hers, "The Key." A train station full of waiting passengers, everyone keeping to themselves in one way or another. A young man drops a key accidentally, the sounds of which startles everyone. When the key slides up in front of an older, worn man sitting next to his equally weary wife, the story takes on a poignancy difficult to watch.

The thing that jumps out at me about Ms. Welty and other southern writers (the ones whose stuff I've read a little of, anyway--Flannery O'Connor, William Faulkner, Carson McCullers, Harper Lee, Dorothy Allison, Cormac McCarthy) is the ugliness. Beautiful writing, clean and strongly visual. Ugly characters in an unbending world, even when the surface is civil enough and pleasantries are exchanged.

I know everyone probably knows this stuff already, has read the same stories and noticed the same thing. But I like thinking about this contradiction, about how viciousness can be bone deep and not break the skin.

A quick look at the Wikipedia site got me this list of contemporary southern writers:

Among today's prominent southern writers are Tim Gautreaux, William Gay, Padgett Powell, Pat Conroy, Fannie Flagg, Randall Kenan, Ernest Gaines, John Grisham, Mary Hood, Lee Smith, Tom Robbins, Tom Wolfe, Wendell Berry, Cormac McCarthy, Ron Rash, Chris Offutt, Anne Rice, Edward P. Jones, Barbara Kingsolver, Margaret Maron,, R.B. Morris, Anne Tyler, Larry Brown, Allan Gurganus, Clyde Edgerton, Daniel Wallace, Kaye Gibbons, Winston Groom, Lewis Nordan, Richard Ford, Ferrol Sams, Natasha Trethewey, and Olympia Vernon.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_literature)

Do I already have way too many books waiting for me to read them? Yeah. I don't care. I'm piling on.

Poseur! ... Dilettante! ... HYPOCRITE.

2011-07-10T22:28:00.001-07:00

Do you listen to the voice in your head? Maybe not everyone has one, or the one telling you you're a has-been, a loser, undeserving of the shiny new desk in your office and bereft of original thought or the discipline to mold a readable story from thin air and some twine.

We're so bent on figuring it all out, on setting in stone our definitions of who we are. I do the same thing. Then, sometimes I remind myself I'm not finished yet. The stories I'll tell won't be completely told until I'm hot-footing it in the crematorium and everyone's gathered at the party in my honor, chatting each other up, munching on canapes and talking about how fabulous I was, et cetera et cetera. So, why try so hard to judge now?

I think we like to understand the framework. Then we build our understanding around it, place the "it" in its proper classification and move on in an orderly fashion. Yeah, it's a monkey thing. Chaos is upsetting. Unpredictable means potential for being eaten by pterodactyls when you've left your club in the cave. Knowing the score is where it's at. I get it.

I gotta say, this whole mindset does balls* for writing.

I've spent the last year spiraling the drain, trying to force creative thinking, spanking myself when nothing comes, comparing my relative failure to those talented writers around me who've worked hard and made solid strides toward their goals. I've been sliding backward and succeeding at punishing myself for it. And before that, I presented myself as someone who could tell people creativity is all around us; just pluck it from the collective unconscious like cotton candy. Tra la la. Heh. My self-fulfilling cosmic flagellation has kicked into overdrive.

Maybe I should just float along into complacency, accept I'm one of the 99% of people who dabbled a bit for a while before they found Funyuns or Hose Monsters of Newark (or whatever new trash has made the fall TV lineup.) Complacency implies a certain surface satisfaction, though. I ain't got even that.

Am I a fake? Since I've stopped telling people "I'm working on (insert current project here)," not technically. I'd give anything to be able to call myself a poseur again, though. Dilettante. I don't care. I just want to be able to write again and not feel like burying myself in the yard afterward. I'll worry about shucking the wanna-be label later.

* I got "balls" from http://moralambiguity.wordpress.com. Great word. Not used enough. Great blog, also not used enough. (Glad you're back, missy. Get to posting.)

Good or Good Enough?

2011-03-22T00:25:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation with a friend several days ago. We were discussing story critique and judgment about when a story is "good enough." The question came up (in my head) about the point of the whole endeavor. Each person has their own fantastic goal. Some strive for genius, beauty, meaning. Some want fame, cash, prizes, critical acclaim ...

Is it possible to publish stories which are both accessible to a large audience and artistically accomplished?

Here's my point: when do we decide our story is finished? How perfect does it need to be to deserve an audience? Is there equal value between working toward our version of perfection and stopping when we've reached a level of marketability? One road leads to insanity, but I'm honestly not sure which one.

This reminds me of those other folks: writers truly motivated by the desire to create. They toil, seek endlessly to improve on structure, character, dialogue, et cetera--intending to reach the pinnacle of each aspect. Is this purity laudable? Crippling? It seems it doesn't matter how accomplished a writer they are, they remain unsatisfied. They never let go completely, and perspective becomes a weak alternative to the highest standard. This could even be a custody issue. Boundaries, right? Who does the story belong to, ultimately? If we don't write with the intention to share, then why?

I admire anyone who can write a story of whatever length which draws an audience. My goals with writing fall somewhere closer to center along the spectrum. I want to write thought-provoking, well-crafted stories scads of people clamor to read. Do I want to get paid for them? Heck, yeah. Would I sell my soul for a multiple-project contract? Ask me when that becomes a remote possibility, and I might have an answer.*

As always, I have plenty of questions and no real answer. C'est la pee. ;)

*For another time, perhaps: the question of e-publishing in the new digital world of trade books. Is print and the associated old-world gauntlet even necessary anymore? Everyone has an opinion, right?

Constipation, Confidence and Cannibalization

2011-02-20T23:35:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to approach my situation with a more objective eye, which will be a refreshing change from the hand-wringing I've been allowing myself the past (mrmphmm) number of months.

In case you're not familiar, my situation is one of blockage.

Creative constipation is a common issue, one with several potential solutions, but also dreaded. I see it as akin to sexual impotence. The power of suggestion creates the problem in most cases, and will intensify the degree to which the problem mainfests. When we can relax about it, it eases up, creating a Chinese fingertrap of the process. This helps me wrap my head around it with a clear image to visualize, and we all know the first step is to recognize the problem.

I'm stumbling back into writing. It's a herky-jerky experience: clumsy, embarrassing, frustrating, and exhilarating. Because at least I'm fricking trying. I haven't given up. I haven't killed the urge. What cracks me up is the image of the poor constipated soul straining over the toilet who makes tangible progress one morning and falls right off the toilet seat because he's out of practice.

I can feel I'm not where I was, both in confidence and ability. I'm beating at these stories with rusted clubs, when last year I would've used filament wire to shape them. The dents are noticeable, and those stories from last year feel like they were written by someone else. The realization confidence plays a larger role in the process and the end result is what's exhilarating. And terrifying. Learning how to use punctuation or grammar is concrete, black/white, right/wrong, and not considered exciting by most people. The difficult stuff, the aspects requiring judgment and subtlety, those need confidence from the writer. Confidence both in the ability but also in the story the writer's trying to tell. How many of us have enough control over our thinking to switch gears from hesitant to adventurous? To find that oomph and intrepid spirit again?

I don't know if I do, but I haven't given up. Part of me is watching this whole experience from a distance, stashing and cannibalizing it for future stories. That's a good sign, right?

It's been awhile.

2010-11-08T01:06:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted for a while, and thought it was time I got back onto the mule. Heeyah.

Which is funny, because the writing's been off the mule, too. Sporadic bursts here and there, like milk from the nose and just as attractive. Even though I know what's behind my inability to surge forth and conquer, I haven't been able to get past this hobby horse of an obstacle. You'd think my fear of leaving nothing of consequence behind after my death would at least match my fear of not meeting my own expectations.

Has the well run dry? Is that it? All I've got has been spilt onto the page? I'm an empty vessel, tabula rasa?

Good question.

I hope you weren't expecting me to have an answer. If you're here for more questions, though, I've got those by the barrel, mister.

Here's one:
What's the point of stories? Why write? For that matter, why read? In the larger picture, I mean. We all have our personal reasons for why we do what we do. But on a societal level, what's the true value of fiction? I understand and wholly support finding a path to others' experience. But do you think it works? Are we becoming any more compassionate as a species after centuries of fine, evocative works to learn from? If not for finding compassion and mutual understanding, what's the why of literature?

I can't fool myself into thinking I need an answer laid out before I'll be productive again; even my hindbrain knows a flimsy excuse when one piffles about in front of it. But it's a question worth asking, no? Any thoughts?

2010-10-25T22:16:00.000-07:00

Frank Darabont is directing this new AMC series based on Robert Kirkman's epic graphic novel.

I'm positively salivating over the potential of this show, and even more excited about how careful the people creating it seem to be. The production values appear immense, and the solid intention to follow the spirit of the original stories and character arcs is admirable. AMC has already brought two highly-regarded shows to cable television, so we know the folks in charge have the sensibilities to allow great writing and production to come from the artists and craftsmen.
Check out the website for Making Of documentaries and the official trailer. If you feel strongly about the integrity of zombie tales told with heart and well, organs (hanging out all over the place), I think we'll both be happy on premiere night. (It's Halloween!) Verrry exciting.

http://www.amctv.com/originals/The-Walking-Dead/

Fancy Pants.

2010-08-31T14:29:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned a few times the writer's workshop site I belong to: http://www.scribophile.com.

Lovely people, lovely feedback. It's a well-run site that's managed to retain its focus on writing while incorporating some social aspects (forums, scratchpads, profiles, email) that allow members to become even more attached to each other--a dangerous thing. But wonderful, when you need reader reaction to your work. I may be easing off daily onsite lurking in an attempt to spend more time actually writing, but that's certainly no fault of the site. The place is damned addictive, but my desire for achieving a more professional writery existence prods me like a duck with a sharp beak.

From what I hear, I'm not alone. Most writers don't have an online portfolio, using their blog instead to represent their writing to editors/agents. This, apparently, is not always the best strategy--particularly if said writers tend to blog about embarrassing body hair and/or the ugly sex they had the night before. Might work for Paul Feig, but do you really want to take the chance?

The scribophile site admins have answered this call and created a new, related-but-separate site called: http://scribblefolio.com.

This site isn't designed for direct interaction, but the creation of professional-looking profiles for writers to use as virtual business cards. No programming know-how necessary. None. I speak as someone who has trouble finding documents once I save them and I found the initial setup a breeze.

The site asks for basic information, then allots space for your writerly bio/introduction/stream-of-consciousness rambling (whatever you feel like throwing on there, professional intentions or otherwise.)

The fun part is choosing a motif from a list of about a dozen options. Each one is attractive, streamlined, geared toward a professional presentation. I hope the site adds designs over time with a bit more range, and perhaps some customizable templates, but for a brand-new site the current options are plenty to choose from and feel happy about.

Here's mine: http://lauriepaulsen.scribblefolio.com.

Rates are reasonable ($10/month), and the site is running a grand-opening special through Sep 6th. Easy way to find yourself suddenly in the possession of a professional internet presence. Kinda frightening, actually. I'm a little tipsy with power and can't wait to give someone important my site address.

edit: P.S.--Hey, 100th post!

The Dark Side of Addiction

2010-08-26T15:10:00.001-07:00

I've been a member of a few different writing workshop websites over the past several years. At first agog at the idea of online communities I related to, I soon melded with the stated site missions, committing to group activities and trading critiques with other members. The lure of near-constant attention paid to my writing was irresistable. I bought in. Have bought in.

Even though I can see the danger of giving myself up to the power of semi-anonymous acceptance (and sometimes admiration) based on my writing and site contributions, the instant audience for my stories and tremendously alluring feedback loop, reality is hazy by comparison. Flat. Gray. How I imagine the world looks to someone considering dropping their sexaholic lifestyle.

Reality: these sites are only tools, by themselves not the path to development as a writer. Feedback from a variety of readers is valuable at a certain stage in the work's progress, but allowing myself to assign emotional importance to what others say about my work leads me astray--my work is no longer completely mine if I give others veto power over it.

I've stagnated as a storyteller, let myself settle for immediate gratification when I should have been working on the mundane but steady path to improvement, to becoming closer to being the writer I hope to be. I've exposed fragile, incomplete efforts to outsiders when what they needed most was my undivided attention and the private freedom to make them magical. I see these works as carcasses, half-eaten and spoiled in the heat of the sun. I've sold out, and I haven't gotten any money for it. I'm a fairly shoddy whore, really.

I've decided to pull back from my online communities--to shift my focus back onto writing as a learning process. I have too much unfinished work to keep coasting, reveling in the easy camaraderie of others who may or may not be quietly finishing their own work in the shadows.

Writing is a solitary endeavor for a reason.

Creativity is Peeeoople!

2010-08-08T12:44:00.000-07:00

I usually have more dry spells than wet, when it comes to writing. I don't ascribe to the idea of writer's block, really--at least, not as a diagnosis. It's a symptom of fear. Fear and writers go together, I think. We dwell as a practice on all kinds of stuff--character, plot, setting, etc--and when we're nervous, we dwell on that, too. Our brains are programmed that way. But I'm veering a little off track.

I wanted to talk about creative juice, where we get it, why it never runs out. This is a little like trying to talk about God, so keep your expectations low.

I read a blog entry recently about the question of renewable creativity: http://www.scribophile.com/blog/this-post-is-a-result-of-an-impassioned-argument/

I appreciated the question, although most of the comments posted focused on the setting argument instead (I did too, at first--Shyamalan's a compelling guy.) But it's a mystery, where our ideas come from. Some people are just born seeing the world differently, or maybe their childhood shapes it for them while their minds are malleable. I don't think creative thinking requires genius. Or knowledge. But the inclination to ask questions is crucial. Curiosity led to every advancement our species has made; that ability to imagine the impossible and find a way there climbed us to the top of the food chain. Of course, now we're doing our darnedest to extinct ourselves, but that's another topic. Veering again.

Creativity. The more we use it the easier it comes, the better we use it. Like any effort, we learn through doing. We can read about it, study others' techniques, watch biographies of great thinkers, but until we dive in and find our own way to creating, it's circumstantial. So, trying is essential--and that can be scary. Trying opens up the possibility of failing, and nobody likes that.

So, fear #1: failure. It's a universal fear, no matter what we're trying to accomplish.

Fear #2? Success. Silly, right? Why be afraid of doing something well? What could be disturbing about that? I think enough of us have been here, too, to understand. If we do something well once, we've gotta do it again. And again. The bar's been set, the expectation put out there (for everyone to see)--we've lost the freedom to fail. So we think.

Where was I going? Right. Fear stomps on creativity, and creative endeavors generate fear. It's a vicious cycle. We can lessen the intensity a bit by keeping perspective, by honing skills so every new attempt isn't as much of a crap shoot, but the uncertainty is always there to some degree. We're not creatures comfortable with uncertainty. Those of us who are (not me) accomplish greatness.

Creativity is people! Like Charleton Heston said in "Soylent Green". We do feed off of each other. Ideas, inspiration, motivation, hope, competition. Creativity can exist in a vacuum, but it gets musty in there. Plus, all the noise. We have already the ability to think openly, but I think we regenerate through interaction with the world around us. Stimulation. Maybe we don't literally eat other people, but if we did we could use that experience, too. It all goes in the pot to be swished around, processed, mutated into something useful for our purposes as writers. Or cannibals, I guess.

My remedy for fear? Stimulus.

If you sit down at the keyboard and nothing bubbles up, don't panic. Like impotence, this is the worst possible reaction. Relax. It happens to everyone. Back off for a few minutes and find something new to cram into your brain. Walk outside, listen to music, find thought-provoking articles on the internet (www.bigthink.com), watch an inspiring video presentation (www.TED.org), do something mindless and physical--whatever fires your synapses, gets you going. And if nothing comes, even then? Well, it's hopeless, I guess. (No, it's not. It will come. I promise. Our brains can't help themselves.)

That's my two cents on the subject. Anyone have more ideas to help with writing motivation? I'd love to hear them.

Instinct versus intellect

2010-08-03T18:11:00.001-07:00

Do you write from the gut or the head? Like on most spectrums, we'll fall somewhere in the middle--but if you had to choose a dominant approach, which would it be?

At a writer's conference last year, I attended a session presented by Eric Witchey (http://www.ericwitchey.com/.) He spoke about story structure, character motivation, writing practice--all valuable information well presented. The anecdote that stood out for me, though, was his telling of writer Naseem Rakha's experience writing her first novel (http://www.naseemrakha.com/pages/the_book.html.) As a writing teacher, he helped her through the early stages of writing her novel, but he said she came already equipped to write it well. She ended up selling the book for an impressive sum and contracting for several more; a wild success by any measure.

Then Witchey talked about that second novel--the dreaded sophomore effort. The instinctive writer, he says, will often panic when faced with that manuscript deadline from the publisher. You see, the instinctive writer doesn't know how he wrote his first novel. He didn't plan each scene, place each chapter just so for greatest tension--he followed his gut about storytelling, just let it pour out onto the page and then cleaned it up after the fact. He probably took years to complete his novel. And now the publisher wants the second manuscript in six months. Completed. Without a template to follow, this writer panics, unsure of how to recapture the magic.

And it is magic to this writer. All of those minute decisions writers make as they shape a new story regarding syntax, tone, rhythm, pacing--the gut writer successfully integrates these elements through osmosis. He grew up with story, reading, absorbing the rise and fall, the rhythm of the tale. When he writes his own, it's not about following rules--it just feels right.

I'm not saying Naseem Rakhu is one type of writer or another. I have no idea, and Witchey didn't allude either way. But his anecdote about her put me in that place for a moment. In my imagination, I could feel the mixed reaction of terror and exhilaration facing that kind of wondrous deadline; both a dream and nightmare galloping down the spine.

I'd write about the planner writer--the one who writes from the head, who outlines meticulously, creating detailed character sheets and 3D maps of their story's setting before even starting to write, and then writing draft after draft and tearing it apart and starting over, because well, writing a novel is work. This sort of deconstruction is necessary. Right?

I have no idea. I can't conceive of that kind of approach. This may be why I'm an unofficial novelist, not having actually finished any of them yet. When it comes to the thinking, I get foggy. I second guess. I lose the grit I should have between my teeth, like I have when I'm writing from the hip. The planning just sucks the life out of writing for me. I don't even discuss stories before I write them, because talking about them releases their mojo into the world--it's not mine, anymore, trapped in my head and thumping to get out.

So, if writing novels requires this "planning," how do I reconcile my aversion? How do I make the nasty outlining which is so good for my novel more palatable?

I don't think I do. I think each writer finds his own way, landing happily somewhere along that intellect-instinct spectrum and produces using methods he cobbles together from widespread sources to suit his own approach.

Some sources I've found:

*Noah Lukeman's titles:
"The Plot Thickens"
http://www.lukeman.com/theplotthickens/
"The First Five Pages"
http://www.lukeman.com/Titles/first_5_pages.htm

*http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/art/snowflake.php

*http://www.nanowrimo.org/

*from http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Novel :

There are several common approaches to writing:
Begin with the ending in mind. If you know the ending of the story, it can help you form the theme, the plot, the settings, the characters, and it can help you progress more easily toward that ending.
The big picture approach. Try to create the world (the overall setting and environment), and then build on it to create your novel. Create geography, races, towns, cities, capitals, cults, factions, governments, etc.
Dive in approach. You have the list of the idea, and you start writing while it's still fresh in your mind.
Start with characters. Create three or four characters and let the plot build up around them. This way will allow the characters to be more embedded in the plot.

I'm not saying stretching our comfort zone isn't a good thing--certainly, it is. Get out of that rut once in a while. Try something new.

But don't feel compelled to write outside of your self--your self is where you get your voice, how you bridge that gap between writer and reader. You don't want to compromise the one aspect of your writing that makes it unique, no matter how you get that story onto the page.

two apparently unrelated events

2010-07-06T17:46:00.000-07:00

within the past week i've experienced two separate events--which i guess i do all the time, if you wanna be technical--but these two events have had a profound effect on me & the whole writing thing. okay, wait--three events. three separate, unrelated events. i'll address these in chronological order of occurrence:

the first: the online writing community i belong to started a spontaneous lovefest in one of the forums regarding my stories. i swear i had nothing to do with it. but the respect and affection i felt from so many people, so many other writers who i admire, just twanged me right in the heart. i felt in a solid way, and maybe for the first time, that i have a real chance of succeeding with the writing thing--if i can finish one of these novels. [that reminds me. i paged through my portfolio, and i've actually begun NINE novels. i've gotten significantly farther on three, so i tend to discount the others--but they're there. lurking. accusing with beady eyes and disappointed hearts. anyhoo, back to the point.]

the second: one of my cohorts is taking on a huge project this week. in the course of seven days, he's writing sixty thousand words of novel based on a list of thirty events created by another person (okay, me) unconnected with the actual writing of the story. thirty events not apparently related, but plotted together by him and being fleshed out into an honest-to-god novel as i type. the deadline is sunday evening at midnight (local time for him.) so far, he's posted about a third of the total story, and it's mindbending how good it is. the man blows my mind, and his fearlessness and rampant creativity and drive are damned inspiring. okay, so that's event two.

the third: today, through no special act of kindness of my own, i received a free copy of noah lukeman's newest book, How To Find & Keep A Literary Agent, from the author's website. i asked for a discount (because i'm poor right now,) and the admin was generous and classy and just sent me the book in full. maybe this happens all the time--i don't know--but not to me. this feels like another moment of serendipity, and combined with events one and two, i feel like the universe is trying to tell me something.

three separate events, all occurring inside of seven days, all leading me toward inspiration. i feel buffetted by the winds of fortune, by the wings of chubby muses as they giggle and poke me with their fat fingers, steering me toward a common goal, a shared message: WRITE, FOOLISH MORTAL. WHAT'RE YOU PIDDLING ABOUT FOR?

you'd think that would do it, wouldn't you? that and other coincidences that have led me to a place where i have the luxury of time, no money to distract me, the support of those around me and the inspiring acts of those i admire, and free books on furthering my efforts falling literally without price into my lap. i mean, what else do i want??

it's dawning on me that i want for nothing. all i have to do is write. i'd be foolish to ignore signs like these--that's the way to raise the ire of the powers that be. it'd be disrespectful. idiotic, actually. yep.

it occurs to me

2010-06-26T21:51:00.000-07:00

that i done a boneheaded thing. i posted a lovely blog entry in a blog i never use. i designed it in 2008, and never posted once. until earlier this month. kooky. i must've eaten too many french fries that day, buzzed on peanut oil or something. so i'm double-posting because this blog i linked to deserves more than what i gave. cripes.

A quote from Kafka. (via Moral Ambiguity)
June 4, 2010 by lauriemariepea

Miss Moral Ambiguity never fails to tweak me in the chestular region–sometimes she touches the heart, others she thumps me in the solar plexis. can never predict. But she writes true and strong and chock full of personality and brains. I love this girl’s blog.

25th February 1912, "Hold fast to the diary from today on! Write regularly! Don't surrender! Even if no salvation should come, I want to be worthy of it every moment." Kafka. Yesterday, as I was out and about in Liverpool, I found myself in News From Nowhere again, flicking through the second-hand books. And what did I find? 'The Writer's Workbook, 2nd Edition', written largely in part by Edmund Cusick, the Head of the Imaginative Writing Departm

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via Moral Ambiguity

visit this blog at www.moralambiguity.wordpress.com

back in the saddle again

2010-06-19T18:39:00.000-07:00

i've been trying to make headway with any of the three novels, stumped for a clear path forward and not trusting my own judgment with developing plot on that scale. in an effort to coerce myself to keep to it, i've not let myself work on anything else, including the flash fiction i enjoy so much--so i haven't really written much of anything since about, oh, february. color me stoppered up.

this weekend, a good writer friend challenged me to write something--anything--about 1500 words long, and to do it by tuesday. i decided that working on something--anything--was better than nothing at all, and finished a new first draft about an hour ago.

i love having written something! anything! the writing of it was stimulating, satisfying, FUN, and the finishing of it gave me a giddy head for a solid 15 minutes. yes, writing is my drug, apparently. i don't know if it's fabulous, or drivel, but at this point i'm okay with either. at least i can still do it. something. anything writing.

here's a wee excerpt:

The breeze moved the thick grass to trembling, ghostly fingers of the long and newly dead plucking at the blades planted above them. The sun paused before setting, and the air hung gray-blue over the graveyard. Tam swept away the tears caught in her lashes, her knuckles rough. The scars sat on her skin like flat, pink toads.

keep in mind, it's a first draft. the extra-interesting aspect for me is that i ended up writing straight dramatic fiction, no monsters. it's still pretty dark, but well, that's just who i am.

O, the yearning.

2010-06-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

i've been reading "from where you dream" (http://www.robertolenbutler.com/writings/non-fiction/from-where-you-dream/)
by robert olen butler--a dude i admire and respect, and kinda wish i could stand next to sometimes in case that mojo rubs off on people in the vicinity. it's a book about the process of writing fiction, and while i've read several of these books and parts of several more, what's different about this one so far is the approach. most of these writing instruction manuals work from the outside in. butler's book works from the inside out.

he talks about how to access the creative zone, that untamed nether region of unreason somewhere between dreaming and not, and how to get there on a regular basis and channel that frame of mind into the writing. it's exciting and relatable stuff.

of the three sections in the book (lectures, workshop, analysis) i'm still working on the first, so i'll let you know if he gets weird later on. his third lecture is on the subject of yearning, from the character's perspective. we're all familiar with the question we ask while building our characters: what does this character want? yearning is about that, but even more it's about the intensity of that wanting. butler links the idea also to that of epiphany, or "shining forth."

from p. 40: "James Joyce appropriated from the Catholic church the term epiphany. An epiphany literally means 'a shining forth.' He brought that concept to bear on the moment in a work of art when something shines forth in its essence. That, he said, is the epiphany in a story or novel."

the idea sounds kind of vague in this tiny excerpt, but he goes on to clarify so the reader's heart is all atwitter. i won't quote more of his book here, but i'll hint at one of the reasons i like him so much: he acknowledges that genre writers never forget about the importance of yearning in their characters, while the literary writer's most common mistake is doing just that. they leave out the intensity in their exploration of the human condition--that's why so many people read genre, and why literature gathers dust on the shelf.

people want to feel like the world's at stake in their stories; too often, in literature the only risk involved is whether the main character finds happiness. or matching socks. either way, the reader needs more than that.

i want to find (and write) more stories that combine aspects of both: exciting plot and depth of character. why is it so hard to excel at one and not the other? they can't be mutually exclusive, can they?

feedback at the writing workshop

2010-05-29T21:28:00.000-07:00

today was day 2 of a 3-day writing workshop sponsored by my town's community college. the workshop's been around for many years, has developed a huge following, and presenters travel from around the country to pass on sage advice (and if a writer's planned ahead, even to offer feedback on manuscripts.)
this is where i come in. today, i met a writer/editor with an illustrious history. he's a marketing maniac, tireless and steeped in industry knowledge. he's written novels, short stories, books on writing, and edited a well-known anthology blending horror and erotica, the HOT series. he's michael garrett.
(see his web page: http://www.writing2sell.com/)

his approach is decidedly old-school, nuts-&-bolts, pragmatism over artistic freedom. he suggests writing with your audience in mind, answering expectations with a satisfying product. some may say this approach is cynical, selling out. i can agree, but really, it all depends on a writer's ultimate goal. if you're writing for the creative exploration, to attain a higher level of expression, then mike's take isn't your bag. if you're looking to make your living by writing novels, he has some useful advice. he doesn't knock artistic sensibilities by any stretch; he acknowledges that publishing is a business first, and that most publishers won't have the resources to produce and market a literary novel that falls too far outside the mainstream to make back their investment. all right. that's fair.

admittedly, i'm torn over the entire issue. i love literary and genre, both. both are valuable, both serve different gods. both should be able to thrive, if the world was fair. i think we both know about that looming "if" hanging over our heads.

so, what'd i learn from mike today? (i'm calling him mike not because we immediately bonded over chicken salad sandwiches, but because i feel silly typing out "mr. garrett". also, i want to seem cool and with-it. is it working?)

mike gave me the gift of understanding the need for deep character development. i've heard for years about building character sketches, about creating characters so real they follow me around after i've done with them--but it never clicked. i never understood why i'd need more from them than what's shown in any particular story. (and why do those character sketch worksheets always ask what color socks your character wears? really? is this vital background information?) but mike made it real for me today. he played on my background in psychology, my tendency to pick people apart to understand them from the inside out. he made the idea of character an intriguing puzzle of motivations and desires, fears and pathology, and that clicked for me for the first time.

he made characterization real for me in the same way that my writing professor made thematic development real: if you internalize your message, if you follow your subconscious and include everything in your first draft--and by everything, i mean everything that comes to you as you write, almost a
free-association--then when you return to revise later and edit out what's not true to the story, what's not necessary to moving the thing forward, your original, instinctive message will magically remain and without hammering away at the reader like a monkey with a rock. the text will have somehow absorbed your intention. this is sounding a bit mystical, but really it's about allowing yourself the freedom to trust the process. by frontloading the prep work, you later have the luxury of trusting your instincts as you create that first draft. but i digress.

back to what mike said. so, i submitted a couple of short stories for analysis and feedback from a professional, and mike was assigned to my pages. he started out by explaining his approach to critical analysis, that he sees little benefit in pointing out what's working in a story, that his focus is on what needs help so he can help the writer improve. i'm perfectly okay with this, as i know we have precious few minutes together to discuss and i want the time to be packed full of his decades of experience, chock full of exclusive michael garrett wisdom. i think i did manage to keep a straight face at his next words, because honestly, they were a shock to me. but i'm savoring them now, hanging onto them until i someday finish my novel and find an agent and actually sell the thing. and believe me, that's gonna be years from now.

he said this: "having explained my approach, i'll say this: your level of writing is very impressive. you'll have no trouble finding publishers to take on your work."

wow. michael garrett, the guy who edited stephen king's first work, the guy who has edited countless manuscripts for other writers, who has written his own novels and short stories and blah blah blah--he's been around, right? and he said my writing was "very impressive." of course, he then proceeded to tell me where i've strayed from the righteous path elsewhere in my writing, namely story structure and my tendency toward the contemporary "open" ending, which feels weak to him--but still. i'm a little verklempt over the experience, even though i realize he likely planted that comment to encourage me, to soften the criticism over my story endings. but that's quite a brace against any hope of gushing on his part to then spend a second almost, well, gushing. gushing for a texan, i mean. ;) (i can say that--i'm from texas.)

i need a moment, here. okay: voldemort's horcruxes were neither whores nor cruxes. discuss.

now i gotta get my everlovin'-crap together and finish one of these novels. i know i'm my biggest obstacle to getting somewhere with writing--just gotta fricking do it, man. mike had some good advice about getting past that overwhelmed feeling when tackling the first novel, too. tomorrow, it begins. (that's not his advice. that's just me standing on the bluff with my cape flapping in the sea breeze.)

about to have written

2010-05-21T19:12:00.000-07:00

the old litmus test for writers--"do you look forward to writing, or having written?"-- feels a bit like the catch question--"when did you stop beating your wife?"

is it really an either/or kind of situation?

ask the question on a writing forum and i'll wager one of the most common responses is one about dreading the blank page/screen, the empty, white, mocking expanse pulling feckless writers down to excessive drink and self-flagellation. i admit i've felt that same dread, but more often i feel a sense of freedom stretch out before me when i sit ready to begin a new story.

most freeing is sitting before a blank screen without any idea of what to write.

the potential is staggering. anything in the world, imagined and real, is up for fiddling. i'm giddy at the possibilities. i realize that whatever story i decide upon will not realize this endless potential; it's not the nature of storytelling to create a tale that remains open to every possibility--by necessity, we carve out the structure, pov, character, setting and plot to explore a particular question or complication. but just having that pristine moment before making the first cut is breathtaking. i'm there right now.

okay, moment's over. i'm off to the ritual finger-gnawing, hair-twiddling process of thinking up something worth putting on the block. i love this stuff.

exciting news!

2010-05-09T18:47:00.000-07:00

i received a letter from the school literary magazine regarding a banquet commemorating its 20th anniversary issue, due out this year. because one of my stories was accepted for inclusion in this issue, i've been invited along with the other writers & artists to read a selection at the banquet.

this is big, y'all. the largest group i've ever read aloud one of my stories for was a class of twelve. the expected audience at the banquet ranges around one hundred or so.

i'm nervous, but also incredibly excited at the prospect of live interaction, if even only for two minutes. not that i'm usually chained in the attic, unfit for the public eye, but i tend toward the hermit lifestyle. i hole up a lot. this will be a huge event for me. if i can finagle a digital recording from my husband, i'll see if i can figure out how to post the thing for anyone who'd like to see it.

this will be a great experience to have under my belt--my first print publication credit, and my first public reading of my work. outstanding. woop! wish me luck.

screenplays?

2010-04-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

hi, all. sorry for the lengthy absence, there. i'm optimistic i'll be posting more regularly and hopefully with more substantive entries. not that i'll be researching to great depth; i'm here to introduce, to pique interest--i'll leave the heavy lifting to someone wearing a brace. call me a flirt, it's okay.

a friend of mine currently working on her doctorate in media studies suggested i take a closer look at screenplays, that those who write using strong visuals can often adapt their style to successful screenwriting. i've never really given screenplays a shot; the few times i've tried to read one i'm too distracted by the jumping between stage direction and dialogue and setting description to fall into the story. but i agreed to give it a new try. she suggested several strong screenplays to read, one of which i link to here: http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/alien_early.html .

she also suggested screenplays for "the verdict", "jerry maguire", "casablanca", "pretty woman", "adaptation" . . . and several more, but i'm forgetting her list right now. (don't worry, she's emailing me the complete information later.)

in addition to reading actual screenplays, she recommended the book "and the best screenplay goes to . . . " by linda seger. the book works more like an interactive workbook than a text, analyzing award-winning screenplays scene by scene to bring specific lessons to bear for the reader.
link: http://www.amazon.com/Best-Screenplay-Goes-Learning-Winners/dp/1932907386/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_1
i'm actually a little excited about finding and reading this book; that whole window-into-a-new-world phenomenon thing.

i'm open to the idea of screenwriting for a few reasons:

one, i love movies and visual media. i grew up on tv and film, and have experienced powerful moments from both (the kind that leave you on the verge of jumping onto the roof and shouting out your new epiphanies to the neighbors.) while we use our eyes to interpret typewritten words on the page so our brains can understand the message (and all the wonderful storytelling elements that accompany it), i do think visual images may be a more direct path to the brain, evoking as strong a reaction to story but without the added steps of translation--images transcend language in many ways.

two, i like the idea of developing competence with handling a story full-circle: conception, articulation, adaptation. the very idea of composing and then adapting one of my stories for the screen is thrilling--as thrilling as the tantalizing idea of seeing one of my stories published and bound, sitting on the bookstore shelf (ooh! or even better, cradled in the arms of a loving reader.) and part of me thinks learning about this aspect of storytelling will help me with my more traditional forms, as well--learning how to stage action for greatest impact, how to create more natural rhythms in dialogue and character interaction, how to set scenes in the mind's eye so the reader can follow me exactly where i'd like him to go. i can see all sorts of pros to adding to my writing toolbelt.

three, screenwriting is foreign to me. i have no history with stagecraft or theater, or film--although i spent several feverish months as a teen with my nose in fx manuals written by tom savini (specifically, this one: http://www.amazon.com/Bizarro-Tom-Savini/dp/0517553198/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272600351&sr=1-4 .) i was convinced i'd work in protheses someday for the movie industry. heh.
but back to the point: i never did get any closer to tv or film, other than my fierce love of the magic of storytelling regardless of which form it takes. i'm curious about this huge chunk of entertainment/artistic expression so far untouched by my fumbling efforts. why haven't i ever jumped in? time to find out, i think.

so, i'll be fiddling for a little while, exploring. i may start with an adaptation of one of my flash fictions for practice, as i continue slogging along with the novels. (i'm beginning to wonder if novels are my medium, if i'm not designed for that kind of storytelling architecture or am just struggling with the first novel blues.) maybe i'm hoping for a spark either way.

any experienced dual-medium writers out there who can offer me some advice and/or insight?

hand me that ice pack, wouldja?

2010-03-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

it's been a heck of a two weeks. i'd liken the ride to a roller coaster, but to be honest, it's felt more like riding a pogo stick. takes me back to those days of creaky, punching springs and that uh-oh moment when you pogo the pavement at an angle a smidge too sharp and whang off into the bougainvilla. i've got news.

first, i received word on my college program submission a couple of weeks ago, and i wasn't accepted. (i hope i haven't posted about this already--i'm a dweller, so it's difficult sometimes knowing what i've said out loud.) on the surface, this is bad news.

i've been thinking, though, and i've decided it truly is for the best. this semester i've been taking two advanced writing courses at the community college (the dept chair teaches the courses and holds a longstanding relationship with the university english dept), and i've discovered i'm not that academic a writer. i fall somewhere between literary and genre, and i'm happy there. the emphasis in these programs seems to be heavy on the literary, and that would try my patience in the long haul. i really don't appreciate long noses and the tendency to look down them.

so, i'm off on my merry way.

second, i received word this weekend that one of my stories submitted to the community college award-winning literary magazine has been accepted. so, yay! no payment for the honor, but the story will be considered for a prize or two. and it's a print publication credit, which is nice to add to the portfolio. the great thing about this for me is that the magazine is a literary magazine, one which focuses on literary writing (i assume), and the story they've accepted is planted firmly in the thriller/horror genre. it's a freaking monster story, and it got in. double yay! my hopes of blending literary writing with genre storytelling may be working out.

i'm still waiting to hear about two other submissions; will let you know as the news unfolds. carry on, soldiers.

the other sexy ursula

2010-03-21T11:01:00.000-07:00

tugboat sent to me this poem this morning:

Please Bring Strange Things

Please bring strange things.
Please come bringing new things.
Let very old things come into your hands.
Let what you do not know come into your eyes.
Let desert sand harden your feet.
Let the arch of your feet be the mountains.
Let the paths of your fingertips be your maps
And the ways you go be the lines of your palms.
Let there be deep snow in your inbreathing
And your outbreath be the shining of ice.
May your mouth contain the shapes of strange words.
May you smell food cooking you have not eaten.
May the spring of a foreign river be your navel.
May your soul be at home where there are no houses.
Walk carefully, well-loved one,
Walk mindfully, well-loved one,
Walk fearlessly, well-loved one.
Return with us, return to us,
Be always coming home.

---Ursula K. Leguin

ursula's been recommended to me, specifically her short story collection "The Compass Rose", but the above poem is my first direct exposure to her writing. i'm already in love.
i see ursula shimmering up the beach in her white bikini of imagery, her lush sensory evocations swirling about her like gusts of tangy sea air. i long to be her 007, to devour her words and shoot them like bullets from the muzzle of my literary gun. O, ursula! i'm so happy to have found you at last!

how to respond to writing critiques

2010-02-27T11:31:00.000-07:00

as a member of a few different writing sites, i interact often with other writers through critique. since one of the goals of critique is to offer suggestions for improvement, i think the natural tendency is to look for those spots, sometimes even at the expense of perspective. if we can't find something to fault, we feel we haven't done a thorough job of it.
that's a shame.
because critiques aren't just about what's wrong with a work, but what's right, also. how the elements fit together to tell the story as a whole is what we're all looking for, i wager--chances are, we understand better than anyone else our shortcomings as writers. feedback on the work's effectiveness all-around is most helpful, for me.
this approach to offering feedback requires mindful reading, of course. we have to read on a few different levels, and i usually need to read a piece at least three times before i feel familiar enough to offer an in-depth critique.

we read at line level:
surface SPaG issues
varied sentence lengths for rhythm and flow
appropriate word choices

at story level:
metaphor and symbolism
character
setting
description
voice
dialogue

and at message level:
theme
what is this story really about?
what is the writer's message?

if i receive a critique addressing my story purely on line level, i'm disappointed. but, sometimes a critiquer only has time to offer off-the-cuff suggestions, and i don't fault someone for trying to help. i'm ecstatic to have a reader!

if i receive an earnest critique from someone investing time and thought into their feedback, i feel honored. if i don't communicate some of my intended theme, or one of my metaphors is offputting, i take the opinion seriously because that person has given my story respect enough to pay attention, to take it in by its parts and as a whole. those critiques are invaluable.

here's what gets me, though. the critique offered in slapdash style, without consideration but with plenty of ego. this person is certain they understand exactly what i tried to accomplish, and will let me know exactly where and how i failed. on top of that, they rewrite sections of the story for my edification, to show me how i should have written a particular line, or scene.

this level of disrespect deserves a variety of responses, but in the name of professionalism and in the virtual world of internet community, how to let this person know your feelings without overstepping?

i always thank someone for reading my work. regardless of their reaction to the story, they've taken time from their day to visit my story, and i appreciate that.
i always thank someone for offering their feedback. in addition to reading, they've also made the effort to give me their opinion--without hearing from a range of readers, we don't know how our writing comes across. if we want to build a wide audience, our writing must be accessible. motivating readers to write in is wonderful, no matter their opinion. we've instigated a strong reaction--hopefully on the power of our writing and not the cannibal baby character sporting a swastika tattoo on his forehead. (that's a topic for another post.)
if a reader expresses confusion about a specific aspect of the story, i'll offer a quick explanation, and polite regret i didn't properly deliver in the story. as long as the tone of the critique is respectful, i'm happy to reciprocate.
when i receive the rare but memorable SOB critique adopting a bastard tone and useless, sometimes abusive opinions, i ignore it. this person has an agenda, and getting a rise is first priority. at most, i acknowledge receiving the "critique" and leave it there. getting into a back-and-forth with this kind of person never goes anywhere good, and honestly, some people are just nuts. better to let some other shiny object attract their attention--and it will, sooner than later.

no, for me, the worst kind of critique to receive is the well-intentioned but woefully misguided or clueless opinion. this person also feels certain, but isn't overtly rude about it. they're not stupid, but they're lazy. they miss basic plot points, or which character says or does what. and then they tell you how to fix your story, how to spell out every character's motivation, how to describe in painful detail each bit of setting, how to change your conclusion so everyone's happy in the end. this person wants to help, but they just don't get it. and if you tell them so, you're colored the defensive, angry writer who can't take honest criticism. so, what to do?

i still struggle with this. one one hand, writers have a shared responsibility to help other writers--almost a calling. we want as many well-crafted and meaningful stories out there as possible. not only do we gain from a higher standard as consumers of stories, we raise the overall bar. that's a good thing. along that line, i should do my best to help this misguided critiquer understand what i'm trying to do in this story, and how. that the doll's eye is a metaphor for how the little girl sees herself reflected in her mother's gaze, and is not just a piece of pretty plastic.
on the other hand, where do i draw the line between artistic cameraderie and suffering foolishness? do i risk the defensive rejoinder, the "i know you are but what am i" retort? indeed. who am i to educate someone not outright asking for it? that's disrespectful, no matter how politely i couch it.
so i thank them for reading and sending me their critique. i note what points i agree with (if any), and what points i respectfully disagree with, and i leave it there. if this person responds asking why i disagree, then that's an opening to enter into a conversation--one both parties are open to. i've had some great discussions beginning just this way. whatever comes of the exchange, i've shown this person the respect they deserve, and hopefully, i come away with another positive--a longtime reader.

in case you're interested in developing online partnerships with other writers, here are the writing sites i belong to:

www.scribophile.com -- free basic membership, site focus on writing and critique, "karma"-based system, vibrant and outspoken community. i've met some amazing writers and editors here. forums range from entertaining to exasperating, and can suck major time away from your day. forewarned. best overall writing site, in my opinion.

www.critiquecircle.com -- free basic membership, not as attractive or interactive as scribophile, but in my (so far) limited experience a solid site for obtaining feedback on writing. another point-based system to guarantee fairness in posting frequency versus offered critiques.

www.writing.com -- basic membership free, established a decade ago and bragging a HUGE member population, this site is a monster. not as focused on developing writing skills as socializing and participation in various themed groups, this site is easy to slip between the cracks unless you're comfortable with constant and widespread political massage. unlimited activities, including writing contests and workshops--and some are serious-minded. i've found a few stellar writers here amidst the confetti, and value them as much as i've met anywhere.

writers is funny people.

2010-02-09T17:02:00.000-07:00

looks like tuesdays are good blog days for me. i have my writing classes on tuesdays, so that makes sense--i'm all writery with the thinking tuesday evenings.

tonight the class discussed a short story by Djuna Barnes, "Ladies Almanack: July". amazing writing crammed into a two-page litany about the excesses of love and how silly/fantastical they are. i think also that lesbians were involved, but that's more of a gut thing than an aspect confirmed by academic analysis. but beautiful language; the story should be read aloud. find it, if you can. (we're using a collection of post-modern short fiction called "Innovations", edited by robert mclaughlin. i found my copy on www.amazon.com for about $.40 plus shipping.)

other events in my writing life: uhh...lots of reading this week. reading and critiquing classmates' work. which is an education, for sure. i've got a long way to go, but i've come some of the way on my own. i feel all right about it.

upcoming deadlines: three contests in the next six weeks; a recommendation letter requested by a writery cohort in the next four weeks; homework out the ass (continuous); and those countless unfinished stories that call out to me, plaintive and booty-hurt. when will i ever get to them? must harness yard squirrels for greater power generation. see? one more thing on the list.

what else? i've been writing a lot of dark fiction the last few years. almost all of my stories and some of my few attempts at poetry are dark and weird. that's how i characterize my writing when people ask. "dark and weird", i say. and they shrug, probably assuming i'm a hack. well, i don't blame them. people who write dark are clearly look to shock and appall. they're giggling behind their fingers, waiting for the reader to get to that one spot, the one with the spurting blood and scraps of gray matter, and usually tentacles or fangs, batwings flapping about. that's what we write about, right? that's the assumption, anyway.

i can't really say why i keep revisiting the same themes using the methods i do. maybe i need to keep doing it until i get it right. maybe i'm a skipping record, hoping the kiddies will spin along with me on the go-round. but it's not out of my system, yet. i may visit uplifting and flirt with joy once in a while, but there's something about the scarred that draws me in, still.

about tonight's blog title: i was thinking about people who write, about how--no matter the style or subject or goal--people who write understand each other. we work through the same puzzles, the same hurdles, have many of the same urges. i imagine it's a symbiosis common to people who pursue artistic . . . pursuits. (i me like wordings. *rolls eyes*) i'm not fluent in painting or film making or music, so i can't say. but i get goosebumpy when i'm in a room with people who write when they're talking about the writing. i restrain myself from thumping my chest and declaring us all Clan Mates Of the Order Of the Pen. barely. i mean, i don't really know these people. as much as i toodle about online with other people who write, i don't get the same physical rush. there's something to be said for carnate proximity. carnate? yep. i said it.

am i feeling disdain or fear?

2010-02-02T17:37:00.001-07:00

i recently suffered through analysis. not freudian, or transactional, but literary. i love discussing a story as much as, well, anyone else, but the story loses its magic for me when i have to consider aspects such as: the author's self-referential argument between narrator (the author, in this case?) and character about the thin veil between reality and the fantastical. i've not read a lot of "postmodern" fiction, but if the subgenre dictates this kind of discussion, i don't need to read a lot more. i don't like fiction that plays games. metafiction. feh. give me a good story, dammit. and characters that make me feel something. and a theme that leaves me wondering about the world, or the people in it. i've never been one to glorify masturbatory intellectualism. it reeks of musty panties, and i'm embarrassed for those who wallow in them. it. whatever. i'm ranting, so grammar's negotiable.

so, why am i pissed off about it? mainly because i suspect that IF i do get into this MFA program i've applied for, i'm gonna have to suffer through many more black beret discussions like today's. can i do it? yeah. but damn if i'm afraid of losing access to the magical gremlin inside me, the little dude who allows me to write my stories without worrying about all the analytical "booshit", as russel brand might say. i love writing, and i'm determined not to let learning about it ruin the fun. i just wonder why we monkeys feel the compulsion to overanalyze every single little thing to death ad infinitum. thppt. anyhoo, back to your regular business.

right now, i'm reading: "my happy life" by lydia millet

critique vs. discussion

2010-01-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

(i should probably post more often. will have to work on that.)

i've been a member of a few writing/critiquing sites, off and on, since 2006. i've explored a handful more, and feel comfortable i've chosen well. the range of writing and storytelling ability is wide, just like in the real world. i've found valuable writing friends, and have improved my own skill at writing and critiquing.

my beef is this: too many people--talented and otherwise, serious and otherwise--do not read with intention. reading is not a passive activity, just as any artistic dialogue between artist and audience requires both are present and conscious; conscious, sure, as in "awake" in a literal sense, but also conscious as in aware of what's around them.

assuming without conscious thought we understand completely what the person expressing their art is trying to communicate is arrogant. assuming the artist themself doesn't understand their work as well as the casual reader is insulting.

now, see, this is beginning to sound like i believe i'm an artist whose work is beyond understanding; that readers are incapable of taking in the glory of what flows from my fingers as gold from a smelter. heh. not true. i'm not perfect. i'm not even particularly accomplished as a writer. i want to develop the ability to write more complex, layered tales; i can see where i want to be, and sometimes even how to get there, but right now? nothing shines out of my arse, i promise you.

but the principle is the thing. when i read others' work, i enter into the effort with an unspoken contract between us. i assume every word they've chosen is intentional, designed to convey exactly what they wish to move the story toward its conclusion. if a spot confuses me, my first assumption isn't that the writer is lazy and didn't properly express themselves (even if that might be the case as it turns out;) i assume i don't understand, and i read the passage again. i look for connections, for symbolic significance, for subtext i may have missed the first time through. i show respect to the writer by taking their work seriously. my critiques reflect that attitude, never rewriting their work for them, or dismissing elements as unimportant for their story. i ask questions, i offer suggestions, i give them my impression of their work with the intention of helping them improve on it.

i've met some people who approach critique the same way. but most, it seems, approach story critique as if they're watching a football game: yay! boo! you suck! personal foul! personal foul!

i can't tell you how tired i am of this.

options:
*stop posting my work for critique--well, the drawbacks here are obvious. not only is receiving feedback close to an illicit drug experience, but i have gained valuable perspective from hearing what others get or don't get from a story.

*post and ask particular people to tell me what they think--a likelier idea, but again, i'd be limiting feedback to those who i know and trust, whose reactions are familiar to me. i want to know how my stuff hits people of all backgrounds.

*stop writing--yeah. tried that. am unhappy when i don't write for long periods of time. :(

*??

so, i'm just going to have to stop worrying about those people who expect a story to be handed to them, explained and illustrated for easy consumption. nod and thank them for reading, and let them go on their way. or, do i?

a fellow site member started a conversation with her critiquer, requesting clarification on points, offering rationale for certain elements of the story. and the the critiquer answered, continuing the conversation. a revelation for me, i tell you.

i've rarely attempted a discussion with a critiquer. the few times i remember trying, the result was awkward and tense, and i felt silly and self-absorbed for wanting to discuss my work with an innocent hit-&-run critiquer. but maybe our expectations as writer and critiquers should change. we should expect that offering a critique is offering more than an off-the-cuff opinion, but is entering into a dialogue about the work with the intention of true communication. how rare and surprising is that? and how wonderful?

how much would you like to talk to your favorite author, ask them what they meant by this line, or how they conceived of that plot twist? how magical would climbing inside their heads like that be?

from this moment, i'm changing my approach. when i commit to critiquing a work, i'm there for the writer until they feel satisfied with my feedback. and when i receive a critique and begin to stop myself from responding with questions or points of clarification, i'm gonna let myself send that message. see what happens. all of a sudden, writing feels more to me like a community effort than a monologue in the dark.

am i crazy?

2009-12-31T16:53:00.000-07:00

graduate school. i've spent the last two weeks scrambling to assemble the various forms, recommendations, and manuscript to apply to one of the top graduate creative writing programs in the country. i'm fricking insane. but i'm doing it, anyway. historically, "insane" hasn't really been much of a deterrant for me. i won't find out the status of my application for a few months, i'm sure, but the process has already been surprisingly rewarding; and i'll tell you why.

deadline: i'm reminded of how productive i can be when i'm under the gun. i'd checked the university website last summer, and noted the deadline for fall 2010 as march. wrong. i checked back in mid-december, thinking i'd get a headstart, and BLAMMO! deadline is jan 1st. thank zeus i even checked, but i had two weeks to do what i thought i had three months' time for. i learned i can turn an idiot moment into several days of high energy and collaboration.

review: because the application required several pages of sample manuscript, i had a great opportunity to review my writing to date. i've occasionally revisited stories when editing for submission to various contests/publications, but i haven't really spent a concentrated chunk of time reading through most of my work. i gained confidence from the variety of styles and subjects i've attacked, and having several readers' comments to review also helped me see my strengths along with my weaknesses. a great exercise in self-evaluation i'd recommend, even if you don't have a deadline hanging over your head.

recommendations: i saved this aspect of the application process for last, because it brought me the most gratitude and pride, both in myself and the folks who agreed to send in their recommendation of my writing and me as a writer.
the university graduate program requests at least three letters of recommendation to accompany the other various forms in the application packet. i'm lucky enough to know very talented, dedicated (and fast-responding!) people who see something in me and my writing worth recommending. they've sent me copies of the letters sent in to the selection committee, and i'm proud indeed at their characterization of me as a candidate. a special friend who's spent time on various selection committees also helped me through the application process, advising me on my personal statement and clueing me in to how the procedure usually works, what to expect overall. powerful, grounding stuff. so much work to do, so much development yet to achieve, but i feel like i've accomplished something significant already just by getting this far.

so, am i crazy, chasing the unattainable dream? i mean, it's a top writing program. huge reputation. extremely competitive applicants. i dunno. but i'm gonna try--no point in regretting not even giving it a shot. and if i find out i'm not accepted, i can say i did my best to reach that particular step on the ladder. i'll keep writing and improving (hopefully), and i'll sell my first novel someday whether i have a masters degree or not. (but i really really want this degree to happen. so much to learn!)

here's to 2010, a brand new year and opportunity to both climb closer to reaching our goals and appreciate those who help us get there! *clink* (sips champagne)

run away! run away!

2009-12-07T19:46:00.000-07:00

okay, yes. i am a dork for making my hackneyed monty python reference. but it fits.

last month i took on nanowrimo wiped out about two weeks in. i underestimated the time and energy my other obligations would take from the project, and as a result it bit me square in the ass. i made it to just under 24K; a healthy chunk of writing by most standards, so i'm not ashamed.

ah, but you ask me what lessons have i learned from this failure. i nod and stroke my beard, a pensive sheen to my eye.

i've learned i have limits, that even at full speed i can only go so fast, can grind at the stone only so hard. finding limits is important. i've discovered what conditions i definitely won't write under, that i need time to think along with time to write. that in a time crunch i actually do need a plot of some kind planned out, if only a rough sketch from which to jump off. and even under pressure, i can produce some decent scenes that will polish up nicely.

and here's the interesting bit: i'm continuing the project in january. a friend is attempting six 50k months in 2010, and i'm hitching along for one of them, hopefully reaching 50k at least, and optimally 75k or so. my schedule has settled a lot compared to november, so odds are closer to my favor than before.

so, here's to failure! may it be illuminating, as well as temporary.

new fabulous blog to check out

2009-11-04T20:37:00.000-07:00

just found robert olen butler's blog, and am in love!! love, i tells ya.

http://www.robertolenbutler.com/the-ongoing-life-a-blog/

i've checked out "Hell" from the library, and his book on writing, "From Where You Dream: The Process Of Writing Fiction", but haven't started them yet as i'm nanowrimoing this month. they're positively burning a hole through my dining table, dammit.

can't stay to play, gotta get back to the project--but seriously, give this guy a chance. he's amazing.

'accessible' isn't a dirty word.

2009-10-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2009/10/reverse-snobbery-of-low-literary.html

if you haven't yet visited nathan bransford's blog, do so immediately. don't even read my entry, just hop on over and save him to your favorites. go ahead, i'll wait.

the linked post is particularly interesting because the question's come up more and more often for me. i'll pass it in my internet browsing, my newsstand browsing, my eavesdropping on people browsing in the bookstore. . . you get my drift.

the barrier between readers who read for entertainment and readers who read to be challenged feels flimsier these days, and that's progress in my eyes. good writing should do both. the growing number of literary stories involving genre aspects is a sign of hope for the reader formerly stodged in character study and dry-rot drama. the higher quality of published writing on the genre shelves can only help raise the overall level of brain engagement in the average consumer. or, the average genre book consumer, anyway. i can't help the guy who reads nothing but the occasional menu or stop sign.

but i've had issues with a strictly academic approach to fiction writing, and have historically leaned more in favor toward writing for fun and profit, falling into that reverse snobbery trap nathan discusses. i've had a recent shift of heart. i'd say it was an epiphany, but i think it was more gradual than that.

good writing is good writing, regardless of the label. i'm in love with the idea of writing a literary genre novel--one which embraces both action and character, transformation and juicy, shiver-inducing shadows. if i can accomplish what i hope i can with my stories, i can offer up a smorgasbord fit for anyone who appreciates a well-told, fun story regardless of labels or shelf location.

okay, except the stop-sign guy. i can offer him a moist towlette for that drool on his chin.

weekly prompt

2009-10-20T18:44:00.001-07:00

in my neverending search for inspiring images and writing prompts, i stumbled across this list of top ten worldwide ghost towns. some truly weird scenes, and some haunting (perhaps haunted) places. the town overtaken by sand? wow. buildings held captive by a motionless sea.

http://www.oddee.com/item_96462.aspx

for those who enjoy

2009-10-17T22:58:00.000-07:00

being seriously creeped out, visit joshua hoffine's website and try peeling your gaze from his diseased images. vivid, realistic,reminiscent of childhood folklore, sometimes painfully graphic--each one tells a story, and fires up my own synapses in the process.

http://www.joshuahoffine.com/#mi=2&pt=1&pi=10000&s=1&p=0&a=0&at=0

you, too? i know. i know. between this and 'paranormal activity', i think i'm seriously fucked.

and i'm actually prompt this time.

2009-10-11T18:22:00.000-07:00

official monday prompt:

i was cruising the interwebs, looking for deals on toed socks, and i found
this-->

http://www.writingforward.com/exercises/fiction-writing-exercises/fiction-writing-exercises-10-fiction-writing-prompts

i like #4 best: "Mom says it happens to all girls, but I think she’s just trying to make me feel normal."

but you give the list a gander, see what floats for you.

official monday prompt!:

2009-10-05T19:46:00.000-07:00

Halloween costumes—well, any costumes to an extent—hold promise and escape and fantasy within them. The idea we could be someone else for a little while is enticing, particularly if that person is especially wicked in some way we don’t allow ourselves to be. I found this interesting tidbit regarding costumes:

“Although popular histories of Halloween claim that the practice goes back to ancient celebrations of Samhain, in fact there is little primary documentation of masking or costuming on Halloween before the twentieth century. Wearing masks and other disguises and blackening the face with soot were originally ways of hiding oneself from the spirits of the dead who might be roaming around. This is the origin of Halloween masquerading as devils, imps, ogres, and other demonic creatures.” (courtesy of http://halloween.monstrous.com/halloween_costumes.htm)

I love the idea of hiding within the monstrous. Loads of potential there for a story, don’t you think?

fiddling with scenes

2009-10-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

i thought i'd post a scene i've written for a class i'm taking, not for any particular reason except i've realized i rarely post any of my actual writing. i admit, i'm hoarding most of it in hopes of someday getting it published in a paying forum, but i like this scene and thought you might, too.

(if you're a scribophile/writing.com buddy of mine, you may have already seen this one. :))

Buried Alive

Brady stomped the stegosaurus action figure along the mattress, its mouth pausing at my breast for a quick plastic lunch. He made a sputtering, chomping sound as he ate.

“Is that really how dinosaurs sound?” I grinned as the figurine made its way to my hip, following the curve in its ungainly exploration.

“It’s how I’d sound, if I were a stegosaurus frolicking with a beautiful naked chick.”

I giggled and tossed the toy off the bed, rolling on top of my boyfriend. Nose to nose, we breathed each other in before we kissed, my hair a curtain surrounding us to keep out the world. We heard screams outside in the dark and ignored them. Nights were quieting down, but they still found a few during their hunts; those who had chosen their hiding places poorly.

Brady and I had found an abandoned underground bunker in the city park. Everyone knew it was here. Heck, the town had memorialized it with a plaque and ceremony after World War II. Kids played on the sloped mound every Sunday afternoon, and then raced down to the swing sets as they waited for their fathers to finish grilling hotdogs. Or, they used to. Weeks ago.

We were surprised we could get in, assuming the monument would be cemented shut, or the entrance blocked off with rebar at the least. A few swings with the sledgehammer we'd found in a neighbor's garage, and we were in. We got lucky. Luckier than our families, and we didn’t think to find them until we were locked in and the feeding started in earnest. Then it was too late. We'd had to jerry-rig the door shut, wedging a stout branch against it from the inside, but so far it held.

A metallic banging broke into my reverie. I realized I’d been staring off into the dark again, leaving Brady to stroke my back and wait. The banging grew insistent.

“Hey! Open up!” A man’s voice, pitched high with fear.

Brady slid me over and covered me with the wool blanket. He sat up. “Who is it?”

A pause. “Brady? Shit, that you, man?” The man murmured something we couldn’t make out. “It’s Joe! Joe Shrike, from city works. C’mon, dude. They’re gonna be back around in a minute or two. It’s me and Molly out here. Chuck’s gone. They got him last night.”

I fumbled for his hand, finding and gripping it in mine. I hated opening that door. Even knowing people were dying out there, eaten alive by the infected, I couldn’t make myself do it.

He shook his head, the movement telegraphing down his arm, and released me. “Babe, I have to. What if they get killed because we don’t let them in?”

“What if we all get killed because you do?”

He stood and pulled on his sweatpants, and walked to the heavy steel door, listening. “I can’t live with that. We gotta try to stay human, right? Try?”

I clutched the blanket to me and bit back a protest as Brady opened up. Night air swept in, breezing over me and letting in the moonlight. God, trees. It’d been days since I’d seen them. Two figures blocked the doorway as they entered, and then Brady swung the door shut. The bunker felt smaller, now. Even breathing felt like an intrusion, we were so close to each other. I hoped the ventilation system kept working.

“Nat? That you?”

I nodded and sat up. “Hi, Joe. Molly. Sorry to hear about Chuck.”

They didn’t say anything, and I felt guilty for mentioning him off the cuff like that.

Brady said, “So, what’s it like out there? You were able to make it across the park okay, I guess?”

I heard them remove their coats and feel around for a place to sit. After they settled on some boxes against the wall, Molly answered.

“You wouldn’t believe it, Natalie. Jesus, but it’s like Armageddon out there.” She sniffled, and then started to cry. “I didn’t think we’d make it here, not when Joe almost got pulled inside Mr. Hanson’s shop. I thought we were done for.”

Joe’s shirt rustled, and I figured he was reassuring her. “It was close, Moll. But we got through.” He paused. “You guys got any light in here?”

“Heh. Sure, hang on.” Brady lit a match and then the lamp hanging from a hook in the ceiling. Firelight danced over us and the bunker, illuminating how small a space we were in, how scared we all looked. “We’re trying to save on lamp oil.”

Joe had dark smears on his shirt, and his hair stood up, crusted with blood. His eyes were hollow, and I thought shock would set in soon. God knows what he saw out there. Molly didn’t look much better, but she seemed to be clean of any wounds. Brady had noticed the same blood I did, and nodded at Joe’s head.

“You okay?” At Joe’s nod, he continued. “What happened?”

Joe sighed, and felt at his hairline with his fingertips. “At Hanson’s. We were skirting by, keeping close to the buildings, when one of them grabbed me outside his door. Fucker woulda got me, too, if Molly didn’t get him in the face first.” He smiled darkly, lifting the fireplace poker that leaned against the box next to his knee. “She kinda scraped me in the process, but damned if I’m not grateful.” His hand shook as he set the iron down. “Have anything to drink?”

Molly stared at him, her skin tight, her eyes pleading. I managed to slide on my tank top under the blanket as Joe recounted their story, and passed a thermos to them. They nodded thanks. They must be exhausted, coming down off their adrenaline high. I wondered what they’d be like after getting some sleep, and suspected they’d be near-catatonic, like we were at first. I opened a can of 1940s Spam and stuck a plastic fork into it, and offered that, too. Amazing how long that stuff lasted.

“We’ve got plenty of food, a good supply of water. What we need is a plan. We won’t last forever in here.” I started shifting boxes to make room for another cot, judiciously leaving off the end of that thought: not with four of us, now. “At least, I bet they’ll last longer out there than we will in here.”

Brady raised his eyebrows. “Maybe not. Maybe they’ll finish dying before long, especially if they run out of food.”

Joe looked dubious and passed the Spam back to Molly after a quick bite. “I don’t know. They’re pretty vigorous out there, and most of the town was wiped out in the first few days. It’s been, what, three weeks now?”

“So, what do we do?” Molly sniffled again, and I handed her a paper towel. She dabbed at her eyes with it.

We all looked at each other.

“Well, Nat and I are doing a hell of a job hiding out. I say we do that for a while longer.”

“Working for me so far,” I said. I tried a smile, but it felt stiff. “We can start serious planning in the morning, after you guys have gotten some sleep. Don’t worry, you’re safe in here.”

Molly and Joe glanced at the door and then around the interior. They nodded. Molly watched him as he laid their coats down on the narrow cot, and then settled against the wall. She lay next to him, the expression in her eyes unchanged, the tension in her face still present. I figured she’d need time to come down, for her body to unclench. I smiled, catching her eye before Brady extinguished the lamp, and for a second I saw raw fear staring back at me. She clung to the edge of the cot, tense as a board, and I wondered if she didn’t want Joe touching her. He moaned to himself, already half-asleep, and I settled back into Brady’s arms on our cot across the small quarters. We’d sort it out in the morning."

dammit dammit dammit!

2009-09-29T17:13:00.001-07:00

i missed Writing Prompt Monday again. *sigh* and i HAVE a calendar. and a cell phone. this is embarrassing.

okay, well, dwelling in the past only leads to carbuncles, so let's pretend i'm not a complete shillyshallier and move on:

this week's writing prompt:
http://pixdaus.com/?sort=tag&tag=lighthouse

ah, yes. the iconic lighthouse. lighthouse legends are romantic, ghostly, and the keepers swathed in a mist of nobility and sacrifice, not to mention eccentricity. all kinds of ripe for storytelling. peruse these photos and see if you don't start musing on something with hooks and crannies--and i'm not just talking about the salty sailors. ;) (http://pixdaus.com/single.php?id=73948)

yesterday's prompt:

2009-09-22T17:41:00.000-07:00

here's what i wrote on my facebook page after a friend goosed me about neglecting my prompting duties:

"ack!! i completely forgot--it's House's fault. i blame him and his stinking 2-hour premier that had me all weepy by the end. okay, here's one: you discover that the one quality that makes you different from everyone else is actually caused by a parasitic fungus growing in your brain. it will kill you eventually--and horribly--if you don't have it eradicated through invasive chemotherapy, but if the treatment's successful, you're stuck with the possibility of brain damage on top of losing that special something about yourself.
okay, i watch too much House. :)"

yes, yes. not only did i forget to find a proper prompt for the week, i decided to cut and paste the one i pulled out of my ass. now THAT's lazy.

new old digs

2009-09-20T17:42:00.001-07:00

i've moved my computer back into the second bedroom, where i fudged together an office of sorts to write in a couple of years ago. i had shifted out to the living room months ago because i missed hanging wih my honey, but my productivity's for crap. i'm one of those people who can't concentrate with distractions, it seems. i feel isolated spending time in the back bedroom, but i have to choose priorities, and i keep putting writing on the back burner.

my output dribbled to a stop, and now my confidence suffers with it. i have the potential to be a strong writer, but i'm not there yet with story structure and discipline, and i'm not sure at all i'm going to beat the odds and end up a working novelist.

along with the flaccid productivity, i've enrolled in a writing class at the community college. i haven't submitted my best work, but still i hoped to find encouragement and some notice from the instructor, but that's not happening, either. i'm feeling pretty puny in the world of writing, to be honest.

what's interesting, though, is i feel no hesitation with hanging in there. quitting writing has crossed my mind, but only in a fleeting wisp--a mental fart that wafted away and good riddance to it. i'll never be satisfied as a hobby writer--i want to sell stories, to get my work out there to as many people as possible--but it's comforting to realize i'm unafraid to stick it out for the long haul. i may not publish my first novel before i finish school and find a teaching position at some small university somewhere, but i have faith enough in myself to believe i can make it happen if i really want to.

so, i'm back in my lil office--with my electric buddha, my desk fan, my lumpy footrest. back to climb back on that fiction pony and ride until it bucks me off. giddyap, motherhumper.

official monday writing prompt(s)

2009-09-14T20:28:00.000-07:00

hi, all--

this month's writer's digest special issue is on writing prompts and creativity. woop! here are a few to hold you until you can get to the store and check it out for yourself:

"During his third night out of town, a traveling businessman discovers a voodoo doll in his hotel room."

"Out of curiosity, a medical student attempts to reanimate her dead cat."

"While on a camping trip, a little boy strays from his family and happens upon a carnival in the middle of nowhere."

"A little girl turns into an elephant."

i'll probably be listing more a few at a time--let me know if any of them strike you.

to nano or not to nano

2009-09-13T10:25:00.000-07:00

you've probably heard of (or participated in, even) the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo)? if not, check it out here:

http://www.nanowrimo.org/

the founder and organizer, Chris Baty, also wrote a guide to writing a novel in 30 days: "No Plot? No Problem!" (isbn#0811845052): http://www.amazon.com/No-Plot-Problem-Low-Stress-High-Velocity/dp/0811845052/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

gimmicky, right? but it works. if you follow the guide and the spirit of the adventure, you'll have a complete story arc reaching 50K words by the end of november. it'll need a lot of work before it's a finished novel, but you'll have written down the bones of the thing--amazing. several well-known writers have completed novels this way, and even better, published them. (you'd have to visit the nano site for details on that.)

i've completed NaNo projects for the past two years, and i'd assumed i'd be working on editing the two novels i have, rather than racking up yet another unfinished novel to store away and stare at. i sigh a lot, staring at my unfinished novels. i kept telling myself that i need to buckle down, get these done before haring off on any new, exciting writing adventures.

but then, i asked myself, "why be so hard on myself, self?"

so, what? i've got two unfinished novels waiting for me. november comes around once a year, and the momentum i get from sharing the crazy with hundreds of thousands of people all over the world results in huge amounts of writing. it's stressful, and grueling, and . . . fun!

plus, professional writers often gross a higher daily word count than the nano requires (about 1700 words a day, i think--don't trust me to get the math right), and experiencing that level of output is invigorating. even if it is crap. doesn't matter!! (well, it matters in the long run, but in the first-draft stage? naw. not so much.)

so, what'd i decide for this year? i can feel november looming, its domed head breaching the calendular horizon. what should i do? splurge in another month of abandon, of creative whimsy and ludricrous plot twists? or buckle down, be responsible, trudge along on my existing novels which cry out for help in feeble whimpers from my laptop files? i think we all know which way i'm leaning right now.

and you know what? i can always buckle down eleven months of the year. that's where i need to improve my work ethics, dammit. November's for NaNoWriMo!!!! who's with me???
*picture me astride a fidgety horse with my face in war paint, a tartan draped over my shoulder*

monday writing prompt

2009-09-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

official monday prompt:

we're creeping toward Fall, toward the time of year where the natural world slips into drowsy lock-down, waiting for Winter. Hallowe'en's right around the corner, and my inspiration turns toward darker thoughts:

"You, too, wander about the graveyard silent and pensive. Your ear is conscious of the gentle echoes of deep groans and tears, while your eyes rest on rich monuments, and modest wooden crosses; and the unmarked tombs of strangers, covering their dead, who were strangers when living, unmarked, unobserved. And you read the inscriptions on the monuments, and all these people who have disappeared from the world rise up in your imagination. You see them young, laughing, loving; you see them hale, loquacious, insolently confident in the endlessness of life.

And they are dead."

Leonid Andreyev, from "Stepping-Stones", published in "The Little Angel", Knopf, 1916. (courtesy of www.ligotti.net)

poem as writing prompt

2009-09-01T18:55:00.001-07:00

i like writing that sinks me into another perspective, one that i might not experience on my own. i was trolling poetry sites, and came across this one:

"I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--

I, too, am America."

"I, Too" by Langston Hughes

I'd forgotten about this poem, but it hits just as hard as the first time. Love it.

monday writing prompt!!

2009-08-24T18:12:00.000-07:00

official monday prompt:

i'm a sucker for lyrics. maybe it's how they hit strung together with the music, but sometimes a certain song will just settle into me like home. i've never been to either carolina, but ryan adams makes me want to belong there:

"Oh My Sweet Carolina lyrics

I went down to Houston
And I stopped in San Antone
I passed up the station for the bus
I was trying to find me something
But I wasn't sure just what
Man I ended up with pockets full of dust
So I went on to Cleveland and I ended up insane
I bought a borrowed suit and learned to dance
I was spending money like the way it likes to rain

Man I ended up with pockets full of cane
Oh my sweet Carolina
What compels me to go
Oh my sweet disposition

May you one day carry me home
I ain't never been to Vegas but I gambled up my life
Building newsprint boats I race to sewer mains
Was trying to find me something but I wasn't sure just what

Funny how they say that some things never change
Oh my sweet Carolina
What compels me to go
Oh my sweet disposition

May you one day carry me home
Up here in the city feels like things are closing in
The sunsets just my light bulb burning out
I miss Kentucky and I miss my family

All the sweetest winds they blow across the south
Oh my sweet Carolina
What compels me to go
Oh my sweet disposition
May you one day carry me home

May you one day carry me home"

voice of an angel, that man. a foul-mouthed, pissy, egotistical angel.

here's a link, if you'd like to hear the song. a wonderful duet with emmylou harris, another singing angel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMZYRvDvgT4

so, a sense of place. we all try to set a scene, a tone, in our stories. how often do we try to place a setting so strong it becomes a character in its own right? how often do we try to create a sense of a place we've never been?

making real progress?

2009-08-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

i woke up this morning, after several days of not sleeping so well (minor health issues), and my head was racing with ideas for my novel--i made notes, and some of them are meaty, add something important to the overall theme and foreshadowing to larger events. the cool thing is, that's never happened to me before. the waking up to automatic ideas. i wonder if maybe having this story in the back of my mind all the time is creating a subconscious flow. a trickle most of the time, but my brain's chewing on this project even when i'm not aware of it. that'd be super cool, because i've had trouble conceptualizing such a large story arc, and my brain helping rather than hindering may signal the turning point. maybe i'm beginning to wrap my head around this thing; and thank goodness. i only hope that once i finish this novel the next one moves faster, since i'll know how it all works together.

i'm curious--those of you who have finished your first novels, how did it go? what was progress like for you, and how long did it take?

everything you wanted to know about writing

2009-08-16T15:22:00.000-07:00

but were afraid to ask. a friend recommended to me a book about writing:

The Complete Handbook of Novel Writing
by Meg Leder, Jack Heffron and the editors of Writer's Digest
ISBN#1582971595

i've started it, and lo, in the first chapter have discovered a plotting concept new to me: situation vs complication (pp. 14-16.)

we've all read that conflict is essential to good storytelling. we need something to get wrapped up in, something to keep the tension going. what's interesting about this 'situation vs complication' bit is that, while some writers take for granted what creates momentum in their story, figuring a character's divorce/alien abduction/demonic possession/etc. automatically does the trick, it's actually a bit more involved than that.

we need a situation with potential for this magical conflict, and we also need for our character(s) to be personally invested in the outcome--and we need to build and support that connection.

situation: josie finds herself instantaneously transported onto the bridge of the SS Flargleblastroid spacecruiser.

complication: while we might assume josie would be disturbed by this development, we can't be sure unless josie has a vested interest in not being there, or wants to be there but disagrees with the space captain's mission to vaporize all of Earth's puppies, or thinks the captain's tentacles are very sexy, and he's just not that into her. all of these wrinkles create conflict, but it doesn't become a bona-fide complication until josie is compelled to stay and resolve the situation. if she can walk away without sacrificing something meaningful, the tension isn't there--an easy answer stares us in the face while josie thrashes about. plot credibility is ruined.

seems obvious, i know. but how many books have you read that didn't create this developed a level of commitment in its characters to their situation? sadly, i've read a few that i found on the bookstore shelves. each new tidbit i pick up helps me not to make mistakes like this, and encourages me to keep working away. excellent! i only wish those writers whose books i read had learned about this stuff, too.

feeling a bit bunged up, are we?

2009-08-13T16:36:00.000-07:00

anyone who knows me knows i've been batting like a kitten at my first novel for the past two years--egads--determined but lost as a skink at a marmoset sleepover. at least, that's what i tell myself.

"O, but if i only knew how to work this novelling magic!! If only, i would achieve GENIUS!!!" thrusts fist into the air. "GENIUS, i tells ya!"

yyyeah. i'm learning more and more that writing is about sticktuitiveness as much as or more than creative greatness, and hitting that wall over and over is forcing me to question the whole shebang. but i don't give up completely, because that would leave me feeling even more lost than i do in the struggle--in "the shit", to be blunt and colorful.

so i spent a few minutes searching for answers, or inspiration, or a really good fish & chips recipe--because working on the next chapter would be useful--and i found this:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Top-3-Creative-Sinkholes&id=2344791

Valery Satterwhite discusses aspects of our lives and selves that sabotage accessing our creative GENIUS, and i'm not even exaggerating. i agree with her points, as much as it means i may have to face some prickly truths about myself. i mean, i like being comfortable. but i can't deny that considering the possibility of my own latent conflict of self interest leaves me a bit fidgety. hitting close to the bone? mebbe.

what say you? are you sabotaging your own path to greatness?

ps--for that awesome fish recipe: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/tyler-florence/fish-and-chips-recipe/index.html

answering the buzzing brain

2009-08-10T15:19:00.000-07:00

official monday prompt:

i found this link, which explains automatic writing. direct, subconscious writing that may (or may not) reach your pure self and bring out its truest expression. i bet you've got some freaky deaky in there; i'm curious about what comes out when you try this technique. go, surrealists, go!!

http://www.languageisavirus.com/articles/articles.php?subaction=showcomments&id=1099110599&archive=&start_from=&ucat=&

contest win!

2009-08-09T20:05:00.000-07:00

i found out recently i've been chosen as the winner in a site contest administered by www.reviewfuse.com. awesome!

i'd be excited anyway, but the reason i'm particularly pleased is how the contest is judged:
*stage one--> the top-rated three stories are read and judged by the site admins.
*stage two--> each submission in the contest requires the author also critique stories. the site admins read and judge those critiques for helpfulness and thoroughness.

so, winning requires relative skill at both writing and giving feedback to other writers--my kinda contest!

the official results will be posted tomorrow, aug 10th, in the site blog. i'm sure they'd love for a few unexpected visitors. :)

prompting.

2009-08-03T20:43:00.001-07:00

official monday prompt:

i love the word "cusp."

it's just a great word--and the meaning is cool in many different contexts. you've got the cusp of adulthood, the cusp of aquarius, bi-cuspid (okay, i cheated on that one.) but really, it's a cool word. and it feels good in the mouth.

what words do it for you? words that feel packed with power and potential, that feel like you could make some great metaphors from them? go play, and see what unexpected connections you make.

pleasantly surprised and mildly deflated

2009-07-31T16:11:00.000-07:00

it always surprises me, this resurgence of will for writing. no matter how disillusioned, how tired or discouraged i become and tell myself to take a break, not to pressure myself so much--i always return. i can't seem to make myself work on the novel, but this seems to be more of a self-confidence problem than a writing lust problem. no fix for that but to jump in and fricking do the thing, i think. *sigh*

a friend recently suggested i schedule one day a week to work exclusively on the novel--no matter what, if only for an hour or two. i want to try this; progress is progress, and a whole hog's butt better than what's happening now.

i wonder sometimes about fixing up my short fiction and submitting collections for publication, too--one horror collection, one magical realism. i know getting short fiction collections is even more difficult than novels, but i have the stories written. i know how to edit short fiction.

one thing i've noticed is my waning interest in critiquing others' work--for me, critiquing takes much more energy than writing. i need to project myself into the writer's mind, to intuit their intentions versus the product, and gauge whether they've achieved their goals with the work and if not, why? and if so, how? it's a lot of thinking, and each new critique reveals to me my own weaknesses with story structure. also, it's difficult to keep putting effort into critiques for people when i rarely receive one more than a step above, "dude, this was cool. rock on!"--on www.writing.com--not helpful, although i appreciate the sentiment.

even my goto critique site, www.scribophile.com, has its limits; and i notice myself posting for my critique fix and then feeling bitter because i just don't get the rush i used to from receiving critiques. i need to step back from so much interaction and focus on deepening my stories. and, of course, facing my novel demons. gack. well, i hope the writing life is good for everyone here, amidst the ups & downs. i admire you all, who plod onward in your effort to connect with readers everywhere.

the corn conspiracy

2009-07-27T18:29:00.001-07:00

official monday prompt:

i've been perusing ted.com again. love that site. great for thinking about topics i wouldn't otherwise encounter. like, here's one that struck me:

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/michael_pollan_gives_a_plant_s_eye_view.html

michael pollan ("The Omnivore's Dilemma", "The Botany of Desire") speaks about agriculture in a way that most people haven't considered: what if, instead of mankind manipulating the crops, the crops are manipulating mankind? silly, right? well, give michael a listen and see where you are.

great exercise in shifting perspective.

it's prompt monday!

2009-07-06T20:24:00.001-07:00

official monday prompt:

this week, try exploring the first kiss. can be romantic, sure. but how else could it be? terrifying? disgusting? hilarious? parasitic? i'm just sayin'.

i challenge you to evoke this universal first experience, but to do it without resorting to the cliche. make us live this kiss in all its technicolor glory.

monday prompt!

2009-06-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

hi, all--

it's monday! here's your prompt:

http://pixdaus.com/single.php?id=118145#read_c

i love old photos of a time long past--people may not change much over the years, but i enjoy glimpses into how we used to live. how we dressed, how we got around, clues into what life was like for different kinds of people; those captured moments that give us a snapshot of flavor. i like imagining what the people in the photographs were thinking at that moment.

if you follow the link and scan down the page, after the photo of ww2 normandy, there are several other photos to choose from--different places, different times. all feel evocative to me. maybe one will grab you?

writing prompt alert!

2009-06-22T18:23:00.001-07:00

official monday prompt:

Here’s a fun exercise in brainstorming: (if you can do this with a friend or two, it’s even more fun. )

1. Out of the air, pick several professions. Doesn’t matter what. Bricklayer, clergy, assassin, art restorer, whatev. List a bunch. Write them down on small bits of paper and fold so you can’t read them by accident.

2. Out of the same air, list several different emotions. Be careful to list only emotions, and not needs (ie, hunger), and take a few minutes to give yourself a nice array to choose from. Write these down & fold them, too.

3. One more time with plucking inspiration from the air, jot down several different settings. Be specific. “Texas” is a setting, but maybe “roadkill barbecue cookoff” might work better here. Let yourself be silly, serious, and everywhere in between. Write ‘em down, bits of paper. Fold ‘em.

4. Okay, now, mix all the bits of paper up in a pile (or hat or bucket, or whatever,) and blindly choose several bits of paper. Maybe five or six. Lay them out, and hopefully you’ll have a mix of all three categories. It’s okay if you have a more lopsided representation of one over another, but at least one from each is good.

5. Write your story using these establishing criteria. Even if it seems nuts, or if the finished story is wildly different from where you started, it’s cool. You’re writing, right?

Aaaaand, go!! Let me know what you get!

from the rooftops

2009-06-20T17:16:00.000-07:00

what's happening in iran. this poem captures the hope and terror beautifully.

http://poem-of-the-week.blogspot.com/2009/06/anonymous-poem-from-iran.html

make sure to listen to the woman reading and not rely solely on her words. her voice fills the spaces between.

great poetry

2009-06-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

a list of my favorite poets would have to include wendell berry, mary oliver, anna swir, and lori coale. you might be asking, "lori coale?" yep. lori coale.

she hits hard with emotional truth and wisdom and images that make my mouth dry. i wish i could do what she does, but instead i read her poetry and dream:

http://www.2river.org/2RView/13_4/poems/coale.html

she's returning to the published world after a hiatus, so take a moment and read these two poems. see if you feel as starry-eyed as i do.

sigh

2009-06-17T22:13:00.000-07:00

am i fiddling right now? i abstain from answering that question on the grounds i may incriminate myself.

http://writetodone.com/2009/06/17/how-to-stop-digital-fiddling-and-start-writing/

good stuff that goes down like a jagged rock followed with a witch hazel chaser.

fellow writer's book giveaway

2009-06-16T23:36:00.000-07:00

give it a gander, yo:

http://suzanne-hartmann2.blogspot.com/2009/06/contest-win-free-book.html

you have until friday, june 26th to enter. suzanne's written some great articles on rules of writing, and her blog's definitely worth checking out. jump on over, and maybe even win a free book.

angry clown shoes

2009-06-15T13:52:00.000-07:00

official monday prompt!!

this week i'm exploring the ridiculous, the absurd, the fabulousness of satire. give this video a quick gander:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/conservatives_warn_quick_sex?utm_source=b-section

nobody does it better than the onion.

as jon stewart said: "I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

I am a tiny, neurotic man, standing in the back of the room throwing tomatoes at the chalk board. And that's really it. And what we do is we come in in the morning and we go, 'Did you see that thing last night? Aahh!' And then we spend the next 8 or 9 hours trying to take this and make it into something funny." (http://www.pbs.org/now/transcript/transcript_stewart.html)

satire is extremely difficult to write well--almost as hard as writing a good love scene. but give it a go. and dang, if you can combine the two and make me laugh, you'll have earned yourself a special surprise from my coffers. i promise it'll be worth nothing on ebay. :)

useful, pithy, and by stephen king.

2009-06-13T10:34:00.000-07:00

http://mikeshea.net/Everything_You_Need_to_Kn.html

follow the link to an article stephen king wrote about getting published. short and practical, and i feel like i'm sitting on unca steve's lap when i read it. particularly interesting to me is his thinking about the questionable necessity of finding an agent as a new writer. hmm.

Alien Skin Magazine

2009-06-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

published one of my stories in their June/July issue. yay!!

here's a quick link for you: http://alienskinmag.com/flash17.htm

one more notch on my writing post, and i'm a little extra proud of this one, since it's one of my earlier stories. please check it out.
and once you're there, stick around and read some of the other stories offered up this issue--good stuff!

tonight i write about mutant bugs.

2009-06-11T20:44:00.000-07:00

thank god my dry spell is over. my confidence wavered a bit over the last couple of months; different factors why, not important. what is news: i'm back! yay!
i'm writing short fiction again on a weekly basis, and i'm finally delving back into the first novel.

i attended a writers' conference a couple weekends ago--my first--and the experience was exhilarating and intimidating and overall life-changing. i wish i could say i exaggerate, but all weekend my outer shell (the one i use to keep everyone from knowing my every thought and mood) was gossamer thin. i was able to make it through without show-stopping outbursts, but barely. i felt more alive those two days than i have in a long, long time. i guess i could say i'm re-energized, re-dedicated.

i'm going to finish this novel, and it's going to be good. and i'll do my damnedest to sell the thing while i finish my second. but for tonight, i promised someone a flash story about mutant bugs. :D

food, shelter, clothing, writing.

2009-06-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

monday prompt deliciousness:
i've been thinking about food lately. well, let's be honest. i pretty much think about food period. but the connection we have to food, both as a source of life and nourishment, of comfort and sensual delights, of lessons like self-discipline ("eat your veggies") and sharing.
so many stories have used food as an essential element. the one that jumps into my head right off (of course) is laura esquivel's like water for chocolate. magical and romantic and passionate. ooh! and the movie "big night" --evocative of a particular time and place and italian immigrant culture; and the culinary creations in that film are heartbreaking in their artistry. my favorite scene? the very last, for its simplicity and truth, and how that symbolism comes through in the plain omelet cooked with a fork and served up with a hunk of fresh bread.

find a way to incorporate food into a story so that it feels integral to the telling--either in tone, in metaphor, or maybe even as a character itself. i dunno. play around with it.

monday writing prompt!!

2009-05-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

okay, here's what you do:

1. go to your bookshelf/bookbox/bookpile/bookheap, etc and choose a novel at random. must be a novel.

2. open the book at random, and choose a sentence at random. read it.

3. use it.

here's mine: "Viking peered through the vast cloud of smoke and the heady perfume of spilled beer and various liquors." (p. 98, Writ in Blood #0515139688)

www.bookrix.com

2009-05-25T19:25:00.000-07:00

bookrix.com is an international site designed for writers, aspiring and otherwise, to connect and share their work. i've been a member (memberships are free!) for a few months, and while the site is still new and working to inspire more activity in the forums, i am optimistic.

if you're interested in recent press: http://bookrix.com/pressreview.html?lang=en

i've also just found out the site blog is beginning to feature authors who post their work. i've been selected to share some of my story and writing philosophy, and i'd love for everyone to visit and check it out: http://blog.bookrix.com/
i've been told my time in the bookrix sun is slated for tomorrow, may 26th.
woohoo!!
(edit--here's the direct link: http://blog.bookrix.com/2009/05/26/featured-bookrix-author-laurie-paulsen/)

even if reading about me blathering on does nothing for you, i do invite you to check out the site--it's a good idea, and could only benefit from more writers joining up and sharing.

the new, most fabulous edition of Ruthless Peoples Magazine!

2009-05-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

Download

download it now, won't you?? even better, subscribe to receive notices for subsequent issues--free, and great reading. you can't miss.

have you guys ever heard of

2009-05-15T14:17:00.000-07:00

www.textbroker.com?

i've registered (free), but have yet to contribute. a free-lance warehouse for writers renting themselves out to write non-fiction articles, it looks like. one aspect i like right off: the site admins request a writing sample to judge which level assignments each writer's skilled enough to accept. the higher the skill level, the more $$ per word writers can earn.

if you're looking to make a few extra bucks, maybe give it a looksee.

monday's prompt but on a tuesday. it is tuesday, right?

2009-05-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

you know, when you don't have a job it's harder to remember which day it is. it's not monday, is it? *sigh*

here's this week's official prompt:

http://ted.org/index.php/talks/keith_barry_does_brain_magic.html

while entertaining, this video also asks some intriguing questions about our brains and how they work--whether we use these ideas for the science or the potential magical applications, i can just feel the stories teeming under the surface. bring me one!!

everything and the universe, too.

2009-05-10T11:29:00.001-07:00

i read roger ebert's blog. everyone knows him as the film reviewer, and he has made an incredible career from his insights into making and analyzing films of all genres and production values. i've always thought of him as a thinker. and more than that, a thinker that can communicate complicated ideas with depth and nuance--to a level beyond my understanding, i'm not ashamed to admit. this man has a big, veiny brain.

along with his brain, though, is his compassion and understanding of people and what motivates them. because really, isn't that what he's been examining all these years? the expression of our humanity through celluloid?

he is one of my few heroes because of his integrity and articulate, searching soul. you gotta read this:

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2009/05/go_gently_into_that_good_night.html#more

the man can think. and even better, he can write. and don't neglect to read the posted comments after his entry--he attracts the most thoughtful commentors i've seen anywhere.

it's that hippity hoppity time again!

2009-05-05T16:24:00.001-07:00

no, not spring. it's this week's writing prompt, silly!

official monday prompt (posted on tuesday):

when you stand at the edge of the chasm, when your toes hang out over nothingness deeper than the starkness of your soul, when air dank with despair slides over your face in a moist caress, when you walk away from a job that--but i digress.

what do you see when you face the abyss? look closely and then tell me your secrets.

aaaaand, go!

this week's most devilish prompt:

2009-04-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

have you ever seen the website: http://www.entrancestohell.com/entrances.php ?
it's a bit of silly fun, but i can scan through the images and amidst the chuckles, the "meh" moments, the occasional truly spooky "gah", i'll get some interesting ideas. some are even story-worthy, perhaps.

i found this amazing photo at my favorite image-perusal site, www.pixdaus.com :

http://pixdaus.com/single.php?id=65333

“Hell has three gates: lust, anger, and greed."
--Bhagavad Gita

seeing the benefit of failure

2009-04-24T21:42:00.000-07:00

i found this compelling and beautiful lecture by elizabeth gilbert at www.ted.org:
http://ted.org/index.php/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html

she talks about the flaw in associating creativity with suffering, and the talk progresses to rethinking how we see creativity altogether--as more of a borrowed genius than an intrinsic belonging to ourselves. give her a listen.

thinking about her theory of genius, i started to feel better about my six-week crisis of confidence with my own writing. i begin to see the benefit in not believing my own hype, in approaching writing as a learned skill to be practiced, and not sparks of inspiration to be tossed onto the page like word salad. i've avoided analyzing my writing closely, superstitious about looking too closely and discovering there's nothing between the threads on the page--that close examination would cause my attempts to evaporate in the heat.

but maybe forcing myself to look is the best answer. elizabeth gilbert talks about the fear associated with creativity, and she acknowledges she feels it, too. this shared humility is inspiring, and that locked pit in my stomach is hopefully opening a bit, letting me remember storytelling for the joy and connection with others. i'm hopeful i'll learn how to write again through this adjusted perspective, and maybe this time develop skills based on confidence of message and technique, instead of relying on magic and instinct. maybe i'll figure out how to blend them together to create something truly special.

my prompt is tardy. it always is.

2009-04-20T20:37:00.000-07:00

official monday prompt:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FszzXG6e45E

sandra cisneros reads her short story "eleven." sweet and funny and real and poignant and full of heart--i love this story! inspires me to try for this same wisdom in my writing . . . i hardly achieve it, but she keeps me trying. *sniff*

yes, i know it's not monday.

2009-04-17T21:47:00.000-07:00

here's a freaky writing prompt.

okay, i admit i have a fascination for weird medical conditions. check this out:

Chimerism
A child's genes are inherited from his or her parents, so
when a 52-year-old woman from Boston had a completely different set of genes
than two of her three children, the medical community was at a loss for an
explanation. It took two years for doctors to conclude that she was a "human
chimera," someone with two or more distinct sets of genes. For example, DNA
extracted from the skin of a human chimera may be different from DNA in the
blood. Chimerism -- named after a Greek monster called the chimera with the head
of a lion, body of a goat and tail of a snake -- occurs during pregnancy when
two embryos that would have resulted in fraternal twins fuse early on in the
pregnancy, resulting in one baby with two separate sets of DNA. While some
chimeras have two different eye colors, most lead normal lives and never realize
their condition.

groooovy. almost like two souls trapped inside one person.

and i was doing so well, too.

2009-04-03T19:38:00.000-07:00

as much as i've been fighting it, i have to admit that starting a new job is a real brain suck. my brain's empty, my energy's drained, and unfortunately, my creative urges are frustrated and squashed at the same time. they're still there, but rather than the iron fists bashing at the inside of my skull, they're more like a palsied tapping of decrepit fists on the back of my head. i know they're there, but man, i just can't take them seriously.

i can feel the transition shifting, though, back toward where i was. the iron fists. i just need to hang in there a little while longer, until my new job doesn't require quite so desperate an amount of my focus. i was getting nervous, wondering if i would ever regain my writing momentum, and today is the first time in weeks i've felt sure i'd return wholehearted. so, yay!

i'm even feeling more dedicated to making progress on the novels. who knows? maybe this is a turning point i'll look back on one day as "The Moment." It could happen.

So, how do you stay in the game when life is throwing cantaloupes in your lap?

monday poke! poke poke poke

2009-03-30T06:45:00.001-07:00

hey, all. this week's prompt:

step 1: turn your eyes to the right hand column on this page.
step 2: scan down. futher, further . . . until you see the writer's unblock tool.
step 3: use it.

(if you don't like the current surreal prompts in the box, refresh your page and i think new ones pop up.)

if one hits you in the sweet spot, write write write and then come back and tell me about it!
that is all. :D

aunt aggy's agony column

2009-03-26T19:07:00.000-07:00

one of the wisest souls i know has opened up an advice column for the lovelorn and shopworn, the confused and bemused and abused, the blocked and half-cocked. all questions are welcome, be they writing-related or not--aunt aggy knows all!!

click here: http://www.writing.com/main/forums/item_id/1542964

in other news, i need to pound out a flash fiction tonight. and it's gotta be good. juicy. something to get me back in the groove, because i've been dry as an exposed tendon in the sun. all creaky and chewy. mmmm...tendon. *slaps own face*

all right, back on track. writing starts now. (will get back to you with results.)
go visit aunt aggy--i'm not kidding.

dang-it-all-to-chicken-scratch!

2009-03-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

you ever have the feeling you've forgotten something? doesn't come to you, but it kind of inches around the back of your neck and tickles at the tiny hairs there while you swat at it. won't go away. something . . . something i was supposed to--frick!!!

i remember now.

yesterday was Prompt Monday. mother fudgebucket. sorry, sorry. apologies.
*walks to jar on counter with brain inside, removes lid and cradles gray matter in both hands*
i really should use this thing more often.

this week's Official Tuesday (but really Monday) Writing Prompt:
http://pixdaus.com/single.php?id=139788

i love this image, full of mist and mystery. gets me thinking about dark fairy tales. ooooh.

let me ask something else, while i'm here. is your communication style ever affected by a prolonged writing abstinence? as if your creativity testicles are swollen and tender with the growing need to spill forth their dna-soaked verbiage onto the quivering, fertile page?!?!

*draws deep breaths, bosoms heaving*

i'll notice that my most mundane memos become overwrought with veiny prose . . . and i'll use lots of excessive exclamation punctuation marks, too. heh. as a public service, i should just go ahead and write my fiction more often; not so much so people will benefit from reading, but so they don't have to suffer through my turgid non-fiction scribblings in the meantime.

how important is setting the setting, anyway?

2009-03-19T19:34:00.000-07:00

starting a story, breaking the cool white of the blank page with your black scribblings is a moment of enormous potential; potential, and pressure. i have been thwarted many times. to be honest, i'm somewhat thwarted right now, as i blog to delay returning to my story-in-progress. even with the magic of computers and word processors, there's something about that first crack in the eggshell, that first dip into the smooth water, that makes us draw and hold our breath for a second. well, me at least. i know i'm about to sully that perfection with my fallible attempt at setting my scene. with each character typed onto the page, the potential for greatness ebbs away. sad, isn't it? as much as we strive for greatness, we know that most of the time we settle for competent, or well-told. or truly awful, on a bad day.

so, why setting? what's so important about it? even if we begin our story smack in the middle of some hair-pulling adventure, a moment of such adrenaline and terror we forget to swallow as we gobble up the words, we still have to get a clue about where the story is, and when it is. even if all we receive is the essential clues, we have to have a hint of a world in which to plant our thirsty imagination. readers don't mind filling in a few holes, but they need that weedy framework upon which to work.

so, setting. how to go about it. i'll start a story without the foggiest idea of what's gonna happen. i may have a specific scene in my head--wild-haired gypsy in a circus tent, werewolf cowgirl by a desert campfire, sri lankan fisherman staring at his feet on the beach--and just follow from there, seeing where the characters take me. but i don't think we can begin a story without having a clue about where and when it happens. can you remember a successful story in which this is true? seriously--because i'm always up for learning a new skill.

but, how to know what to include and what to leave out?

for me, i try to see the scene through my character's eyes. what's important to them? what would they notice? is their emotional state affecting how they perceive the world around them? i've read stories in which the author describes with loving--and sometimes skillful--detail everything in a scene down to the stitching on the curtains. curtain stitching may be vital to the telling of the story, but i'm not sure i'm interested in reading a story where the characters find stitches in fabric an essential part of life.

but, take the ornate bowl of fresh fruit on the table, just in from the front hall. the dewy skin on the apple, the fragile pear with its wooden stem still intact, the banana just beginning to brown at the tip. if our character's a street urchin, brought inside a fine mansion for the sake of delivering a mysterious message, you can bet he's gonna notice that fruit bowl. he might be cramming fruit down his trousers as we speak, not thinking ahead about how to explain to the head butler the suspicious bulges around his thighs. the urchin might like a fine coat made from well-stitched curtain, but consider the hierarchy of needs--he'll be looking for food first. and the odds against him making off with a curtain? not so good. fruit in the trousers? pretty good, actually. it's doubtful the butler's gonna reach down the boy's filthy pants legs for a smudged apple.

okay, i've beaten this one to death, i think. no, wait.

the only other bit of technique i could offer on this is: less is more. if i have to choose between moving my story along and spending time fluttering my eyelashes over a setting description, i'm going for the action. if you can impart a tone, a feel for the place along with a few well-chosen details, that will give the reader enough to work with. they'll get it--they're not dumb. you can always add more detail in a later scene, if you feel you need to. and if your character never needs to return to this specific setting, it may not warrant a full description, anyway.

okay, i think that's it. what suggestions do you have on setting a scene? tricks? techniques? lessons learned? favorite scene descriptions? please let me know.

here's a fun and informative article delving a little deeper--okay, a lot deeper--into what i've been saying: http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/description.shtml enjoy!

monday promptiness.

2009-03-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

so, i had an interesting conversation with a guy last week. yes, he was clinically delusional, but that doesn't discount the creative value of his observations.

he had been sitting inside his house, and noticed that the house had somehow 'grown' more windows than it had had before. he'd look through one window to look through another and then another, never actually seeing through to the outside world. he was puzzled, rightfully so, and decided he needed to investigate his house from the outside to solve the puzzle. he walked outside to examine the exterior, circled his house, and noted that, now, his house had developed more corners than it had had before. corners upon corners, until he had trouble finding the front door again.

imagining his experience got me feeling all mind-bendy, wondering how to develop a plot around this phenomenon. or a character. a sympathetic character with which readers would identify. fabulous.

i hope this scenario gets your brain apoppin', too. happy monday. :)

wee hiatus interruptus.

2009-03-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

hi, all.
sorry for the week-long disappearance--but, i'm back! and today's pretty special. special for me, i should clarify. today is the launch date for a brand new online magazine called Ruthless Peoples Magazine. (find it at www.ruthlesspeoples.com)

this behemoth of love and talent is run by dominic hamer and stewart baker, two cohorts and writers themselves, and it's a thing of beauty. speaking objectively, of course. it's a free subscription, so please go check it out--you won't be sorry. and maybe bang a bottle of champagne against its bow for good measure. launch ahoy!

(in the interest of full disclosure, i should mention one of my stories is in the lineup. :D)

it's prompt monday again.

2009-03-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

official monday prompt:

okay, random word groupings to spark that brain!
logy
bricklayer
flatbrain
metatextual
lumpen
anachronometer
backslasher

how to use the weird stuff.

2009-03-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

today's been kind of weird for me. i'm not talking fellini weird, but more of an emotional offness due to job-related changes. funny how closely we identify with what we do for a living. hm. and how much it can affect us without warning or explanation.

but this post isn't about jobs. or fellini. (too bad.) or even really about weird emotional upheaval.

it's about how we can use these moments to help us write. you've seen those scenes in movies where an actor is instructed to use their personal experiences to enhance their connection to their role? this is what i'm talking about. characterization, whether on stage or on the page, is all about details. we learn who this person is by piecing together moments we're given throughout the performance; we form a cohesive portrait. just like in life.

when we meet someone, we don't know who they are within the first few minutes. we come to understand them over time, through observing how they react to and feel about various influences, how they dress and carry themselves, how life interacts with them to bring out who they are. writing is just like this.

which brings me back to the emotional weirdness. we all seek truth in our writing. we create characters who ring true for us, no matter how peculiar they are to someone else. they each hold an internal integrity which makes them real. the key is not to aim for the easy and predictable, but for what's true. not every good guy wears a white hat. not every hooker has a heart of gold. if we want our characters to hit with power, we have to break through those stereotypes which only fog up reader's attention spans. maybe our hooker has a bad latex allergy. well, first, she's in the wrong profession, we think. but then, she surprises us by developing a no-touchie clientele. kinky. and she overcharges. demand versus supply, baby.

go for the emotional weirdness. remember those moments in your own life which forced an unexpected reaction from you--pick apart the how and why. store those moments, retaining the feel and intensity of the emotion, the tics. reconfigure those minor truths to create a unique and solid character when you need him.

what is it about writing that makes my legs itch?

2009-03-04T17:14:00.000-07:00

as soon as i settle down for a nice bash at the keyboard, i begin to notice things. the same things, interestingly, that i noticed the few times i attempted to settle down for a nice bout of meditation. my skin itches in variable spots. i suddenly feel i have too many eyelashes and certainly one or more of them is about to drop into my eye and slide up under the lid. i have to pee. that leaf i'm focusing on, the one floating in the stream as i allow every other bit of flotsam to pass on by, keeps shouting distracting things to me. "you've got all the creative juice of an old raisin." . . . "what? you think you're up to a story? with a plot? all right. belly up if you've got the stones, but i wager there's not a conclusion fit for my mum's teat in there." apparently, the leaf floating in my zen stream is a pissy brit. (no offense, dom--you're fabulous! don't ever change.)

when i tried meditation several years ago, i discovered i have what's referred to as 'the monkey mind'. my thoughts are a constant jumble of activity--not necessarily useful, creative activity--and slowing them down is tantamount to death for me. i resisted clearing my mind because i was afraid if the thoughts slowed and disappeared, they might never come back. not that i feared coma. i was afraid of losing the buzz that keeps me constant company. i don't know any other way to be. sometimes the jumpy brain gets in my way, but more often it gives me those sparks of inspiration.

i don't feel i can summon a creative thought when i need one, but i have faith that if i sit and muse long enough, i'll have a germ of an interesting idea. and that's enough for me. i wouldn't want my ideas to come to me too easily--i know me, and i'd just take them for granted.

so, that itchy leg and that hairy eye? i'm keeping 'em. to me, they're just another tool to finding the next story. hopefully, not every story of mine is gonna have a hairy eye in it.

http://www.scribophile.com/authors/laurie-paulsen/works/scratching-the-surface/

*edit: these serendipitous moments are what make life worth living, yes? i reposted my year-old eyeball story yesterday and received today an invitation to publish the thing in the April 2009 issue of Ruthless Peoples Magazine!! Woop!! so, bad news: i've gotta take it down for a few months. good news: you can read it for free on april 14th at www.ruthlesspeoples.com!! go now and subscribe for updates! gehee.*

prompt monday writing prompt

2009-03-02T19:54:00.000-07:00

i was reading about the different anatomical parts of the skull and came across the term fontanelle. man, what a great word. moms (and unnaturally learned people) might know about it because it's the soft spot babies have in the top of their skull because their cranial bones haven't knitted together yet.
this got my brain to wander, thinking about the metaphorical significance of having an opening in our skulls when we're born. awesome.

i hope it does something for you, too.

latest acceptance/rejection letter

2009-03-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

hi, all. i received my first combination rejection/acceptance letter today--very exciting! i submitted two stories to www.alienskinmag.com in january, and they've accepted one of them, sensory overlord, for their june/july issue. yay! here's a snippet from the email i recieved:

"Dear Laurie,We have all read, reviewed, and discussed both of your stories and we reallyenjoyed one of them. We would like to use Sensory Overlord in our June/July2009 Issue of AlienSkin Magazine.We have to pass on Alison's Crush, the tale just didn't appeal to us."

the other story wasn't quite in their genre, and i can understand their lack of interest in it. alison's crush is more of a straight horror story, and alienskin is sf-oriented (as if the name didn't give it away.) but hey, if you're interested in reading a bit o' scary, please check it out at: http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1117622

cutting the crap.

2009-02-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

i've recently begun reading noah lukeman's 'the first five pages', and right off i know it's the book to save me and my gimpy novel. a quick excerpt:

"The main audience for this book, though, is you, the writer. Along with the criteria, this book offers an in-depth look at the technique and thought processes behind writing and has been designed to be of interest to the beginning and advanced writer alike . . ." (p. 14)

see, this is what i need. i can use help with grammar and style (thanks strunk & white--you guys rock the tizzypewriter), but even more, i could benefit from learning more about structuring a larger work. like a novel. the second chapter ends with a simple but eye-opening exercise regarding adverbs and adjectives--otherwise known as the writer's crutches.

from page 39:

"Remove every adjective and adverb from the first page of your manuscript and list them separately."

then, a bit farther along in the exercise:

"Look at your list of removed adjectives and adverbs . . . Cross out each one and beside it write down a less expected replacement."

sounds so obvious, right? i know.

so, i tried this first exercise. here are a few of my original adjectives/adverbs:

narrow, shallow, looming, spandex, muttered, belay, quiet, raw . . . you get the idea.

not horrible, but not terribly striking, either.
taking the manuscript apart and rebuilding to make it stronger; i've been hesitant to try this, concerned about the reassembly phase. i keep imagining the manuscript components articulated all over my desk and me standing over them, overwhelmed by a slow panic. *shudder* terrifying.

now, i have hope anew. check out noah lukeman's 'the first five pages' (isbn:068485743x).
http://www.amazon.com/First-Five-Pages-Writers-Rejection/dp/068485743X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235884087&sr=8-1

kindle me a story, grandpa.

2009-02-26T19:05:00.000-07:00

okay, this is interesting. amazon's kindle now allows individuals to publish their work as kindle books. for free.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4489551_sell-book-kindle-format.html

authors set their own price and receive 35% of the kindle book's sales. think of the potential for networking with this thing. and the proof of a story's appeal to readers, assuming a significant number of copies sold. i'd imagine potential agents and publishers would eat that up.

will have to think on this--the idea of publishing a collection of short stories is near-irresistible, and i'll be reading up on how a kindle work's attractiveness would be affected by having been electronically published. but hey, if i'm ultimately aiming for publishing novels, getting my name out there now for short stories might be a solid approach. wild stuff.

these are not the old days, for sure.

monday writing prompt

2009-02-23T14:53:00.000-07:00

i found a fairly intriguing photo at one of my favorite websites, www.pixdaus.com. i know images don't work for everyone, but dang, people. just look at this one and tell me it doesn't get you to wondering. the creepiest part for me? the old sepia-toned portrait in the creature's hands. there's a story here, i'm telling you.

http://pixdaus.com/single.php?id=13543

dark speculative poetry

2009-02-23T13:55:00.000-07:00

Bigtop Dreams
Laurie Paulsen

Stuffed clown,
propped on that spindly chair,
your silver painted eyes
glinting in the moonlight,
your floppy striped arms
arranged artfully so.
Stare at me like you mean it.

I fall asleep and dream of your teeth
dripping my blood,
your arms wrapped around my throat
as you drag me into the abyss.
Don’t you see?
Your obsidian needs
keep me from my own.
I watch you
to forget my own hunger.

I want to climb inside you
and feed on screams forever.

i was searching a bit on the internet for horror-based poetry. i admit my knowledge base on the subject is pretty spare, and could only come up with Edgar Allen Poe on my own. (If you know of other poets who specialize in the creepy, please send me their names.)

my internet search netted me a few amateur sites which may prove interesting:

http://www.authorsden.com/categories/poetry.asp?alpha=a&catid=52
http://www.sffworld.com/authors/poems/horror.html
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/dark/dark_poems.html
http://unspeakablehorror.com/journal/2008/12/29/new-horror-poetry.html

so, take a peek. seems odd to me that more poetry exploring the spooky and disturbing isn't out there. horror and dark writing is a natural for poetic expression--the imagery distilled to its most pungent essence, snatching the most vivid moments for expression--these two forms should be an automatic pairing; like babies and pitchforks.

update: my husband handed me another link. looks fascinating! http://www.poemsofthefantastic.com/

imagery as inspiration

2009-02-21T11:26:00.000-07:00

i mentioned before what sort of stimuli gets me creative. music and images, and one other: poetry. not all poetry, but the kind strong in imagery will get me. if it opens my mind's eye, puts me in that place, i'll take that feeling and run with it. today, i'm grateful for a blog i follow: http://poem-of-the-week.blogspot.com/

this week's poem, above pate valley by gary snyder, is a sumptuous buffet of desert imagery. detailed, evocative, and steeped in a sense of history both geological and cultural, this poem puts me there in that rocky canyon. i'm surrounded by slivers of arrowheads, of tall ash trees and fresh river trout, of fat deer grazing down the trail, and the juxtapostion of life as a trailblazer--living amidst the glory of nature as i use explosives and fired tools to destroy part of it for the advance of mankind. odd, that i feel peaceful after reading, and have the urge to dive back into my western novel while i have the taste of rock dust in my mouth and crisp canyon air on my face.

i won a kindle!!!

2009-02-19T16:04:00.000-07:00

so, good news. i joined the fledgling authoring website www.bookrix.com in december, after a friend tipped me to it. the site was created by german Bookrix:

"BookRix is an internet portal and the first book community where anyone can place their own books, short stories, poems etc. to be promoted on the web, just like a published piece. The massive Web 2.0 - Projects, which have been hugely popular with music, video and photography fans, now have a sister platform, which will delight literature fans around the world: BookRix."
(from the website)

a free community offering writers of all stature an avenue to expose their work on the internets. writers get to pretty up their virtual manuscripts, choosing cover design, layout and fonts. the virtual books operate like "real" books, flipping pages as you direct, including title pages and forward. it's pretty darned cool. i'm still nervous about the first e-rights, but since i've published only specific works i don't plan to publish elsewhere, i'm happy with the public outlet.

since the english side of the site is still very new, and membership (free!) is still scraggly, the site held a contest in january for writers and readers. writers post their virtual books for the contest, and the works with the highest recommendation counts on feb 15th win. first prize: $2000, second prize: $1000, and third through fifth places: a new kindle. i placed fourth!! the kindle2 will be shipped in march, when amazon refills supply. woohoo!!!

the contest wasn't my favorite type, focusing on popularity and networking rather than writing ability, but i remind myself that networking and getting others excited about my work is a huge part of being a published writer. a successful one, anyway. i'm not so great at it, tending to shy away from conversations about my writing aspirations, what i write about, why people would enjoy my stories, etc. this contest showed me i may need to work on stretching that comfort zone, but also that i'm not at the lowest schmoozing rung, either. i don't know a lot of people, but at least i'm aware of the importance of reaching out.
also, i gotta give credit to my friend and cohort stewart--he won first place, and also garnered several recommendations for my contest entry along the way.

so, long story short: i won a kindle2!!!!! woohooo!!!!!

check out www.bookrix.com if you're interested in finding a writer's community on its ground floor--it's still small enough to gain significant attention, but developed enough to offer several different viewpoints and levels of talent. plus, it's got that kicky european sensibility. some of the navigation buttons still respond in german. :D

new upcoming e-zine!

2009-02-17T12:53:00.001-07:00

hi, all. i receive newsletters from writer/writer advocate-extraordinaire holly lisle, and today i found one in my inbox that set my writey/readey nerves to tingling. check out her new fiction e-zine!!

http://rebeltales.com/

still in the planning stages, this looks exciting and different. author interviews, backstage passes to great query letters and synopses . . . well, check it out. sign up for updates!

it's dagnasty prompt monday!!

2009-02-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

official monday prompt:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAmi1M2Vm0E

funky and nasty and sexy and go with it. steam up the windows with yo' animal love sounds.

my first official rejection!

2009-02-14T14:48:00.000-07:00

i'm excited to announce i received my first official rejection in the mail the other day! i can't explain it, but i'm actually happy about it. not resigned, or philosophical, but pleased. it's almost as if i'm an official writer now, if that makes any sense. i've been rejected by a major publication in my genre. they didn't laugh, or ignore me, but returned to me my story with a friendly form rejection requesting more submissions from me in the future.

one thing that made me chuckle: in the same envelope, they sent a note informing me they'd closed for submissions until 2010.

but it's official. i'm a professional writer. (we find our encouragement in odd places, us writers.)

here's a link to the story, if you'd like to read it.

Basement Jacks
http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1473141

"They don’t always talk. Sometimes, if I come down with my Mom to help with laundry, they just watch. If I’m alone, though, they whisper a lot. Stories about people lying in the dirt under the floor boards. Those people used to live here, they say. One’s even a little girl, like me. She likes flowers, so I brought some down one afternoon and left them in a pretty plastic cup filled with water. I tied a red bow on it. The next day, they were gone. I hope she liked them. Her name’s Emily, the walls told me. I told them my name is Jacqueline, Jacks for short, and that now we could be friends. They whispered to me they would like that."

time shmanagement.

2009-02-11T17:47:00.000-07:00

in january, i told myself i would shift my focus to finishing one of my novels this year. i tend to jump into multiple projects, flash fiction writing circles, writing workshops, editing and mailing off submissions to publications, and more of the like, to the detriment of any time spent staring at the crude materials that make up my larger work.

what doesn't help me is the fact that i've never written a complete novel before, and have only the foggiest notion of how to edit the thing. i seem to lose my direction when faced with such a huge undertaking.

so, it's february. and i'm still involved with my workshop and my weekly circle, and i've added onto that revisions i've been doing to a story that'll see publication next month. (woohoo!!--and the revising is going along swimmingly, thanks.) these are all worthwhile pursuits. nothing to be hand-wringy about.

but it's not focusing on the novel now, is it?

how do i accept deep in my squishy soul that this thing won't write itself? and how do i get to the mindspace where i'm truly ready to wade in with both feet, get those ankles wet and freaking stay wet, and fulfill my destiny? hm. maybe that begs the question: what if my destiny isn't writing novels? or worse. what if my destiny isn't . . . *gasp* . . . writing at all?

is being a hobby writer enough for me? answers to these questions and more next time.

it's writing prompt monday!

2009-02-09T16:24:00.000-07:00

hi, y'all--
official monday prompt(s):

"Animals are something invented by plants to move seeds around." --Terence McKenna

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” --Philip K Dick

i like both of these quotes, which tend to make me think funny things, see the world in a different perspective. hope either one does something for you.

ebert rules.

2009-02-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

depressing and frightening in its implications, this journal entry from november leaves me shivering in my boots.

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2008/11/death_to_film_critics_long_liv.html

"The celebrity culture is infantilizing us. We are being trained not to think. It is not about the disappearance of film critics. We are the canaries. It is about the death of an intelligent and curious, readership, interested in significant things and able to think critically. It is about the failure of our educational system. It is not about dumbing-down. It is about snuffing out."

true and disastrous for everyone, not just those who enjoy thinking. roger's journal never fails to illuminate and provoke a reaction from me.

so, where do you get your ideas?

2009-02-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

how do you start a new story? how do you decide where it'll lead? i'm curious.

i like images (www.pixdaus.com), and music (www.pandora.com). i surround myself with mood-altering sensory experience, and that seeps into my head, gets me thinking. i'm not so good at plucking juicy plots from the idea tree; i tend to see a particular scene in my head, a flash of a scene, even, and go from there.

how do i decide what happens next? i pretty much listen to my characters, and try to allow them to do what they would do, consistent with their personality. if they're just standing there, waiting for the excitement to start, then i ask myself, "how can i really screw these people over?" heh.

rule #1: don't make life easy for your characters. a character overcoming trouble is a bajillion times more interesting for readers than a character leading a charmed life.

so, how do i make myself write when i really would rather watch ghosthunters? that's a hard one. sometimes i give in to the relaxing evening--hey, i deserve one, okay?--but most of the time i settle my monkey mind; i tell myself that writing is fun if i let myself sink into and chew on the story. the hardest part of writing is reentry--finding that same headspace you had last time you worked on the story, continuing the style and tone, and remembering where you wanted it to go. i like to read what's written from the start, and that gets me there.

many writers keep notes, jot down their moments of genius. i know i should, too. those notebooks never seem handy when i need them, and i have a tendency to forget everything else as soon as i focus on a specific thought. the idea fragments float away like ashes on a breeze, damn them. even if i remember enough to make a note for later reference, it never feels the same when i return to it. it's gone cold.

so, i consider myself an instinctual writer. i follow what feels right in the moment for the character. if that's a different reaction from my original idea, i try it on and see what happens. we all have so many stories to tell, and who's to say our first idea is the best one? so, don't be afraid to play. if you're nervous about changing the story direction, save it as a revised copy and go hog wild.

rule #2: allow your mind to explore all possibilities. ignore nothing, no matter how extreme, how ridiculous, how impossible. give it a try and see where it takes you. therein lies genius.

here's an awesome site chock full of inspiration, exercises, pokes in the virtual eye:
http://languageisavirus.com/

see if it does anything for you--any site featuring william burroughs' angular mug can't be bad.

monday (tuesday) writing prompt!

2009-02-03T19:01:00.000-07:00

a day late, but hopefully scads of dough long:

"you find something in your car trunk you didn't put there."

aaaaand . . . go!

crisis of confidence

2009-01-30T21:45:00.000-07:00

i mentioned i've been working on a story, editing with the help of a friend. i also mentioned i haven't done much editing (of my own writing) before, and the effect it's having on me is weird. for me.
one of my strengths as a writer has always been my sense of my self, my voice. i've struggled with plenty of aspects of writing--pov and tense, for two--but i've never had trouble deciding how i want to say something. the words just come.
well, until now, they have.
this editing is getting under my skin. i second-guess choices, fuddying around with minor phrases, writing and rewriting sections of story much more than i ever did. i'm a little rattled. as sure as i have always been, i'm now unconfident about how to express myself, and that leaves me dreading writing altogether. oh, i've been working on this story, and just fought my way through another flash piece, but make no mistake, it was a fight.
i need to find a way back to the flow. to the writing to just fucking say it and not doubt every word i wrench from my brain. argh. damn this editing! and thank god for it.
maybe this is the next natural growth spurt, accepting my faults, seeing my skills clearly and without ego . . . maybe? or maybe i'm all ego right now, rubbed raw by an outsider reworking my own words, smoothing over where i felt i wanted emphasis. well, either way i'll be back to report on the situation.

here's a succinct article on methods to build confidence with writing:
http://www.writergazette.com/articles/article306.shtml

the dull yellow eye

Meandering.

Wow. That was dark.

Poseur! ... Dilettante! ... HYPOCRITE.

Good or Good Enough?

Constipation, Confidence and Cannibalization

It's been awhile.

Fancy Pants.

The Dark Side of Addiction

Creativity is Peeeoople!

Instinct versus intellect

two apparently unrelated events

it occurs to me

back in the saddle again

O, the yearning.

feedback at the writing workshop

about to have written

exciting news!

screenplays?

hand me that ice pack, wouldja?

the other sexy ursula

how to respond to writing critiques

writers is funny people.

am i feeling disdain or fear?

critique vs. discussion

am i crazy?

run away! run away!

new fabulous blog to check out

'accessible' isn't a dirty word.

weekly prompt

for those who enjoy

and i'm actually prompt this time.

official monday prompt!:

fiddling with scenes

dammit dammit dammit!

yesterday's prompt:

new old digs

official monday writing prompt(s)

to nano or not to nano

monday writing prompt

poem as writing prompt

monday writing prompt!!

making real progress?

everything you wanted to know about writing

feeling a bit bunged up, are we?

answering the buzzing brain

contest win!

prompting.

pleasantly surprised and mildly deflated

the corn conspiracy

it's prompt monday!

monday prompt!

writing prompt alert!

from the rooftops

great poetry

*sigh*

fellow writer's book giveaway

angry clown shoes

useful, pithy, and by stephen king.

Alien Skin Magazine

tonight i write about mutant bugs.

food, shelter, clothing, writing.

monday writing prompt!!

www.bookrix.com

the new, most fabulous edition of Ruthless Peoples Magazine!

have you guys ever heard of

monday's prompt but on a tuesday. it is tuesday, right?

everything and the universe, too.

it's that hippity hoppity time again!

this week's most devilish prompt:

seeing the benefit of failure

my prompt is tardy. it always is.

yes, i know it's not monday.

and i was doing so well, too.

monday poke! *poke poke poke*

aunt aggy's agony column

dang-it-all-to-chicken-scratch!

how important is setting the setting, anyway?

monday promptiness.

wee hiatus interruptus.

sigh

monday poke! poke poke poke